Growing up, I’ll admit, I was a disrespectful punk who cared very little about the feelings, concerns, or responsibilities of the average parent of any girl I dated at the time.
My biggest concern?
That I get what I felt I was entitled to…time with my girlfriend.
I didn’t care how it impacted her family time. Or her relationship with her parents to be with me. I didn’t care what they thought of me at all. After all, I wasn’t dating them, I was dating her. And she was my girlfriend, not theirs. Who were they to butt into our relationship? I mean, come on, I just wanted to satisfy my own selfish desires.
20 years, some maturing, marriage, and 4 kids later I realize just how stupid I really was.
Boy, was I an idiot and gravely mistaken.
And if I could tell 15-year-old me anything it would be this (in my harshest most adult-sounding tone possible, of course):
You aren’t entitled to anything, dude. The girl you are dating right now…she’s just a blip on the radar of life….and her parents don’t owe you jack. Whether you agree or not really doesn’t matter…she isn’t your responsibility or charge to watch over and protect.
The best thing you can do is treat this girl like another man’s treasure. Because, well, that’s exactly what she is. She is a treasure to her father. She is the apple of his eye. And you better believe that if you come between her and him, or you show disrespect to her or him, or you hurt her in any way – your life hangs in the balance. She alone is his charge and responsibility. And if you like breathing, you’ll remember this.
Unfortunately, I just rememberd something….you are just a disrespectful punk who knows very little about what is required of a parent, and what charge and responsibility they have been given by God himself to make sure that this girl has everything she needs to be a successful and righteous woman…and right now, son, you aren’t on the radar. Nor will you be anytime soon.
The sooner you realize this and come to grips with this reality and truth, the sooner you will develop into a better man…the sooner you will be a much more productive member of society…and the better off this girl will be.
And guess what?
This truth doesn’t just apply to 15-year-old boys (or any boy of any age really) around the world.
This truth also applies to every girl in the world. Ladies, the parents of your latest crush have just as much responsibility and charge from God to make sure their son becomes the best man he can become as your parents have regarding you. You aren’t owed jack from his parents or from him.
These are harsh words, I realize that.
And unfortunately, this issue isn’t simply something that falls squarely on the 15-year-old boy or girl’s shoulders. The problem is we have generations of parents who aren’t teaching these truths to their kids at the time they need to hear it. Instead, they are learning it much later in life, usually, after they have become adults and parents – and they look back and go “Man, I was a super idiot. How did I survive?”
So, parents, learn from your younger dumber self.
Teach your kids early on the truth about relationships, what God desires to see in them to be successful as an adult, and what is required of you as their parent to make sure they are educated and protected and, as the Bible clearly articulates, that they are trained up in the way they should go so that as adults they will not depart from these foundational truths (Proverbs 22:6).
You will save your kid a lot of self-loathing as adults when they realize this very basic and fundamental truth could’ve saved them a lot of heartache and trouble in their earlier formative years.
Trust me, they will experience plenty of other things that they will most definitely regret.