Hello friends and family!
You’re probably thinking right now, “Did someone hack Brad’s blog? He hasn’t posted on here in years. Surely this can’t be THE Brad?!”
Well, I’m here to say it is I, Brad…the real me. The guy you’ve been silently waiting for to make his triumphant return to the blogosphere and inject my wonderful whitt, my extraordinary writing skills, and of course a bit of humor into your day. And of course, my humility.
All jokes aside, it is true, I have been AWOL for like two years now (maybe more), and for that I am deeply sorry. It wasn’t supposed to be that way. Writing is a great passion of mine, but the last two years have been just a tad overwhelming (to say the least) and writing took a backseat to the worries of this life. For better or worse.
Worries of this life? What a great segue into why I’m writing this today. Worry has been an unfortunate constant in my life for a couple years, and it’s been exhausting. To some degree I feel like a hypocrite because up until I ghosted you all I talked a lot about setting fears and worries aside and leaning heavily on God to be in control. Then, I turned around and did the exact opposite.
I found my worries became a hope killer. I lost hope and I lost site of the Hope Giver.
What worries you may ask?
In August of 2023 we put our house on the market to sell. It was supposedly a GREAT time to sell. We had a contract on our house within 30 days of listing. This was astounding! It was for what we were asking for too. Then, less than 1 week under contract the buyer backed out. Of course, in that time we had found a house in another neighborhood that we liked and had put a contract on that house that got accepted. So we got stuck.
We spent the next 6 months trying to list the house and get it sold while trying to figure out a way to close on the house that we had contracted on. In the end, we didn’t get a buyer AND we lost the contract on the house we desperately wanted. In December of 2023 we took the house OFF the market.
Two months later we lowered the price (by a LOT), re-listed and tried again. We spent 4 months on the market before we got yet ANOTHER contract on our house. This time, we made it ALL the way to closing and the day we were supposed to close the buyer backed out citing they lost the sale on their house so they had to pull out on ours.
There’s a whole other situation that happened with that buyer that I won’t go into, but needless to say the situation we found ourselves in was that we had moved out of our house to make way for the new owner, rented a nice house in the neighborhood we were trying to move to, and now since they backed out we were stuck with TWO house payments (rent that was 3x our house payment and the house payment) plus all the debt we were trying to pay off by selling our house.
We immediately relisted and got a new buyer in less than 30 days. All was going well, but AGAIN during the week of closing things took a turn. The buyer decided to change the type of loan they were going for which in turn moved the goalpost for what we had to have done on the house for them to be approved. Yet again we were scrambling. But at the last minute we were able to finalize the repairs, the loan was approved, and we closed on the house.
Around the same time my wife got a new job (she already had a job, but this gave us a massive boost). It was remote (which she wanted). It paid REALLY good. And between the pay increase and the sale of the house we found ourselves in a financial situation that we have never been in before. We were finally comfortable. Our debt was over 95% paid off and we had doubled our household income.
Four months later this would all change when my wife lost her job due to the companies “organizational restructuring” after an acquisition.
Which is where we find ourselves today, nearly 4 months later and she is still unemployed.
We are now facing a major crossroads in our lives because we can no longer afford to stay where we are unless my wife gets a job before our lease runs out in June. So we are asking ourselves – are we going to continue to try and find her a job here, OR are we going to move in with our in-laws for a short time so we can finish paying off our debt and hopefully secure another job?
What does one do when it seems like every turn you make, which should be a good turn, actually turns out to make things far worse than it was before? What does one do when your hope has been killed by the worry that you won’t be able to feed your family, or house them? What does one do when you feel the options you are left with are not good no matter which one you go with?
I’m not sure I have an answer right now. I just now that we are struggling. I am struggling.
I want to believe everything will be OK, but I’m looking at a history of at least 2 years straight where things keep getting knocked to the ground. It’s hard to feel “hope” when every corner you take you get knocked down another rung.
So maybe this article is less about me handing out advice, but rather just being raw and real for a minute, and seeking the advice and prayers of all of you.
Would you do that for me? Would you lift us up?
I only have one request: don’t patronize us. Don’t give us the “Christianese” answers.
We just need people to see our situation and mourn with us at the moment. We know the Bible answers. That’s not the issue. The issue is, we are in a tough spot and we just need people to empathize and feel our pain with us. We know one day things will change. But it hasn’t yet. So we’re still in this dark place. We are living in a shadow. Eventually there will be light, but not right now.
So, will you do that for me?
Will you simply grieve with me?
Mourn with me?
Offer your shoulder?
Extend your hand?
We’ll get there. I promise. Just be patient with us.
Brothers, I’m listening!!!!