Murder Mill Musings #004

I was tagged in a number of posts and comments yesterday, so some of you may know that I and a few other men had a gun drawn on us. If you’re unfamiliar with the full story, you can read about it here (read the comments too). This is not about that, not directly.

On January 24th, I posted this with the caption “Stand firm.” I was toiling over how little many Christians seem to be willing to give up for their faith in light of this story. I was toiling over my own guilt in the same indifference/complacency. If you know me, you know I’ve done some risky things for an opportunity to share my faith with unlikely converts, much to the dismay of some of my unbelieving friends. I’ve said it once before, I think this will get me killed one day too.

Dear Christian, does your faith cost you anything? How often do you leave the Christian ghettos to engage with this seemingly ever spinning out of control world? I was mulling over that as I approached the mill. “What am I willing to give?”, I pondered. I went on resolute: I WILL preach the gospel even if I’m thought to be a fool, even if I don’t know what I’m going to say when the mic comes my way, and even if trouble comes my way. There are people out there being hunted and killed for their faith every single day.

So what if some random internet skeptic sees what I’m saying and doing and leaves some distasteful comments? Most of them are cowards that stand for nothing and fall for everything. Why should I dim my light for them? I can’t and I won’t. It would be an honor to die serving Christ, should it come to that.

Even still, there is such a tension and turmoil inside of me right now. One of the brothers with me did not flinch. He did not budge. I turned and saw him standing there, not even looking in the direction of the threat. I thought to myself “if this guy was going to do something, he would’ve done it”. No shots were taken at the closest target or those of us getting out of harm’s way. I cautiously decided to go back, at least retrieve my very expensive camera.

I had to be very careful. This was not just about me and my safety anymore. Lord willing, my child will be here in about 10 weeks. My wife and I are about to close on a house in just a few weeks. So much as it’s in my control, I can’t leave them. I am confident that should something happen to me, God will take care of them. I cannot fear preaching the gospel, but I am not seeking out a fight at the same time.

I am not sure how to navigate this kind of conflict, but I know this: everywhere Paul went, there was either a revival or a riot. People respond to the gospel in wildly different ways, so none of us have any idea what might happen when we’re out there pleading for the lives of the preborn and the souls of the mothers going in and coming out.

It may not cost you your life Christian, but your faith will cost you something if you’re serving the least of these. Whatever we do for them, we’re ultimately doing for Christ. He Himself said that. We must be willing to give of our time, our resources, our hearts and our minds. Some of us may be called to literally lay down our lives and die for Him. That’s the kind of faith the cross calls for.

Truly serving the King is costly and a bit scary. But, if He is for us, who can be against us? Take heart, dear Christian. We know how this story ends.

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