Proverbs 14:13 | Laughter can conceal a heavy heart, but when the laughter ends, the grief remains.
Have you ever witnessed someone you know is in the midst of living a wretched life, or is experiencing untold amounts of pain in their life, but whenever you see them, speak to them, or read their social media posts they always fill it with light hearted jesting, comments about how good life is, or seem to be living in constant denial of their situation and how bad things really are?
I have.
I’m watching it right now as I speak, with someone I love dearly.
And it’s hard to watch.
It’s hard to watch these people and the delusion they have bought into when they have clearly violated God’s word and continue to press further and deeper into their sin than ever before. When they continue to tell themselves and others that they couldn’t be happier, that life is going great, that God is blessing them daily, and that they just wish others could be as happy as they are.
But just as Proverbs 14:13 states, behind their “laughter”…their light hearted posts….their comments about how great things are…the grief remains. It hasn’t actually gone anywhere. They’re just masking the truth with superficial statements and a hollow smile.
I’ve heard the “super spiritual” folks (you know who I’m talking about…the ooky spooky folks) try and justify this behavior by saying they are “speaking positive things into being”. And while I agree that we need to speak positively and absolutely advocate that we maintain a positive posture in life, that doesn’t mean we should live in denial of our sin or our present situation. That doesn’t mean that we go around and tell everyone that we’re doing fine when in reality we’re dying inside.
In reality, what they are trying to do is justify in their mind their behavior so they can somehow make themselves feel better about what it is they are doing and about the sin they want to hold on to.
In reality, pride has set in and they’d rather live in a delusional state of being than admit that perhaps they have made one of the biggest errors of their life.
In reality, they are drowning inside. Their soul is dying a slow and painful death, and perhaps, they think, this delusion will help numb the pain and keep reality from setting in.
But, as Proverbs 14:13 says, eventually that delusion goes away and the reality is still there…the pain is still there…their sin is still there, left completely unchecked and it is now festering like a cancerous sore that has grown multiple times over.
Some people have turned this ability to live in a delusion into an art form. They have literally got others living in the delusion with them and congratulating them on how well they are doing. Patting them on the back and saying, “Good job, life can only get better for you from here!”
And in my personal opinion, either these people are just saying things to appear nice and supportive, or they are literally as delusional as the person who is telling them they are OK…either way they are not helping the situation at all. If anything, they are facilitating the delusion, especially if they are aware of the reality this person is living with.
Like I said, I’m watching this happen right now in the life of someone I love dearly. I do not speak of these things lightly or without understanding or compassion for those in this situation – I speak of it because it pains me to watch. It pains me to see someone I know that is drowning in their own sin, and yet choose to remain in denial that anything is wrong…that they are wrong…that what they are doing is sin and destroying lives around them.
1 John 1:8-10 says,
If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.
This is the reality for someone denying there is sin in their life. This is the reality for someone who deludes themselves into believing that they are not in the wrong and attempt to justify their sin. The fact is the truth is not in them…and not only that but they make God a liar and His word…the truth….is not in them.
But here is my call to you who continue to deceive yourselves into believing that there is nothing wrong.
It comes from James 4:8-10,
Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.
In other words – repent…stop deluding yourself and others into believing that your life is happy even though we know that you are living in the midst of great transgression. Stop hiding behind your laughter and your deluded social media posts and admit to God that you have sinned….turn that laughter to mourning over the havoc you have wreaked in your life and in the lives of others…humble yourself before God and will draw near to you and he will restore you and will exalt you and repair your heart and the holes that you have created through your sin.
This is the promise of God, that you should be free and made whole…but you must first quit denying reality and own your sin and bring it before God and repent of it.
Quit living the sin delusion.