When did the Fruit of the Spirit become trigger words for Christians?

I've started noticing a trend with some (not all or even most) Christians, especially male Christians, and even more specifically male Christians who would consider themselves "culturally engaged" or taking on cultural ideologies that conflict with Biblical principles and moral standards found in the Bible. That trend is this...any time someone (like myself) mentions that we as believers need to love others better (not just those within the church, but also those outside of the church) and be kinder, more patient, and more gentle with people...there seems to rise up from the ranks of the individuals I mentioned above an immediate defensive posture, and their responses come across as almost a disdain for what is being said.