It’s the Lord’s Day, y’all. You know what that means. It’s one of the days believers gather to hear exegetical preaching and teaching to edify and sanctify our souls. That’s a lot of Christian talk for being refreshed by the Word of God. Today, one of our elder candidates preached about the light bulbs going off in the minds of the disciples after the empty tomb was discovered.
They had the scriptures and the true Teacher in their midst, yet they did not fully understand the written words or the things He said to them directly. They couldn’t see what was right in front of Him. Not only them, but those that actively opposed Him also had trouble understanding His words and the true meaning of the scriptures. These men that spent their entire lives immersed in the things of God had not a clue who this God is they worshiped and had not an inkling of a clue of what was meant by the words given to them.
In the book of John, we see that it is God that gives understanding (one of the places anyway). Those that don’t belong to Him don’t understand Him. They can’t hear what He’s saying, they don’t recognize His voice, and they can’t see what’s right in front of them. And oh, what a change in those men took place when they could really see for the first time. From frightened fishermen to martyrs for the King, seeing was believing for those men. Isn’t that still true today?
Men still can’t be bothered to listen to what He has said. If you can talk to some of them about the things He said and the things He did, they don’t listen. It’s like they can’t listen. They can’t hear Him and in turn, they can’t see what He’s done. If they can’t see what He’s done, they surely won’t ever believe Him unless God grants him understanding.
By the grace of God, I have been given ears to hear. I’m able to hear His voice and truly see Him (I speak in a human way), but my understanding is so limited still. I spend my days active and passively listening to things concerning Him (sermons/worship music/podcasts/etc). I would dare to say I may even immerse myself in as much material as those men of the past once did.
Give this a quick listen.
Listening to this message being preached, I realized something about myself: I fear silence. I spend a lot of time enclosed in a wall of sound for the glory of God, but how much do I actually sit down, be quiet, and read the word. How often do I meditate on it and take it slowly, allowing the spirit space to correct, rebuke and teach me? The short of it is I don’t. I don’t because I’m afraid.
Why am I so afraid of silence? Am I afraid to truly see the sin in my heart yet to be uncovered? Am I afraid to confront the sin that already has been outed? Am I ashamed of sin and not truly understanding the gospel? Am I afraid that I won’t hear His voice if I do sit down and listen? Why does the sound of silence frighten me so? I .. I don’t know. Maybe it’s all of those things. Maybe it’s something more I’m just not able to see.
What I do know is I want more understanding of what the scriptures say. I want a deeper understanding of how we should live in light of them. I want a more intimate relationship with Christ.
Note: I say “want” and not “need” purposefully. I don’t need those things because salvation is of the Lord. I don’t have to earn it and there’s nothing I can do to earn it. I don’t have to maintain it and I couldn’t possibly live up to the standard of doing that, either. Grace, ya’ll. Grace…
We have all been there before. Someone (or perhaps even it is us) is trying to communicate something very important but the delivery of the message is conducted in such a way that it immediately causes the hearer to throw up walls, tune them out, or flat out reject the message. It doesn’t matter if what is being communicated is true, important, or eternally impacting…the delivery is simply abysmal and causing more harm than it is helping.
Communication is a complex thing. Communication isn’t simply someone sounding off into the void without an audience, but requires at least two members to the party to effectively exist.
In the moment of communication there are several components at work (this list is by no means comprehensive, but a simple outwork of basic communication):
There is good communication and there is bad communication.
Bad communication is something we are all really good at if we are honest with ourselves. It comes natural. I suppose we could write it off to our fallen human nature, or just that we are a product of our environment of poor communication.
Good communication, on the other hand, is something we really have to work at. For most of us it doesn’t come natural. For most of us, it is a real chore to communicate in an effective way that gets the message across without shutting people down. Especially when what we are trying to communicate is of eternal importance.
Out of the 10 things listed above there is only one thing that cannot be controlled by the speaker, and that is how someone receives what you are communicating, or simply put: the receiver.
If you are anything like me, knowing this is frustrating because we may feel we have done everything in our power to communicate effectively, and yet the receiver still somehow manages to misinterpret what we said or somehow turns it negatively toward themselves and then ultimately back at you.
As a communicator, however, we have to realize that we cannot control this. As much as we want to control this, we will never be able to. There is some freedom when we finally come to terms with this and accept it as the reality, no matter how hard we may want to change that.
Knowing this, however, is not a license for us to communicate any old way we wish and resign ourselves to thinking how we communicate no longer matters.
Of the ten things listed above, there are actually nine things that you as a communicator can control.
For example, the words (1) we speak and the tone (2) in which we speak them is crucial. If I were to say, “I love you” to someone but my tone was angry sounding, it would probably not communicate “I love you” effectively. If I say, “I need to talk to you about something” and my tone sounds quite serious or put out, this may create some concern for the other individual as they begin to run scenarios through their head of what you’re going to say before you even say it.
Likewise, our body language (3) and posture (4) speak almost as loud (if not louder) than our words. If I am trying to confront an important topic and when I am speaking with someone my arms are crossed, and I constantly roll my eyes, this is probably communicating to the other person that I don’t really care about what I’m saying and that I really don’t care about them.
How we choose to deliver (6) our message is also important. As mentioned above, if we deliver our message through visuals, we need to ensure that our visuals are communicating accurately our message and not creating a distraction or communicating a very different message.
If we are using equipment to help us deliver our message, we need to consider how that equipment may separate us from our audience. For example, it is no secret that Christians confronting things like abortion, gay marriage, or other hot topics of the day often get labeled as the “bullhorn” guy (or girl). The reason being is that the bullhorn (or megaphone) is seen as something used by protesters or angry people. I’m not saying bullhorns are bad, but we may need to consider how this piece of equipment may be impacting our ability to communicate our message.
If the written word is our method of delivery for our message, then we have to understand that the written word lacks tone, body language, and posture. So it can become easy for our words to be misunderstood when we do not carefully choose our words.
Words aren’t always used. We may choose to use visuals (9) as well. If you’ve ever been in a classroom setting you may find a teacher who uses pictures and diagrams to help communicate the point they are making to the classroom. Sometimes our visuals are helpful. Sometimes our visuals can become a distraction or communicate exactly the opposite of what we are trying say.
Something that often goes overlooked is the environment (10). Our message may indeed need to be heard, but where we choose to deliver that message is important. For example, if I want to confront someone close to me (e.g. a family member) about an affair they are involved in that I am aware of, it’s probably not ideal to do that at the Thanksgiving table surrounded by all of the family members. It’s probably best handled in a private setting.
Even though motive (5) is number 5 in the list, this is probably the most important of all of the components of communication. Motive is our reason behind what we are saying and doing. We may think we have pure motives, but more often than not, our feelings betray us and our motive is really out of order. For example, I’m writing this blog article because I’ve seen repeated social media posts that I felt were examples of poor communication. If my motive is simply to expose the people and not confront the communication itself, then I have made it a personal attack against a person rather than a positive and hopefully helpful critique of communication.
Taking all of these components into consideration, the mishandling of just one of these components can cause our message to fall upon deaf ears. It may already fall on deaf ears because our audience may not want to hear it, but there may be members of that audience who were open to the message but how we handled the communication really turned them off. This is what we want to avoid.
I’ll put it simple…this should be important to us as believers because God communicated in His Word to us that how we treat others is important. The treatment of others is not just in what we do, but in what we say and how we say it.
You’ve probably read it before, but 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 has become a bit of a “life verse” for me as these 3 verses have challenged me like no other when it comes to my words and my action. Here is what Paul tell’s the Corinthian Church regarding their words and their actions:
If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.1 Corinthians 13:1-3 NLT
Think about what Paul is saying…we can have supernatural gifts, and unlimited knowledge, and faith that moves mountains…but if any of these things are used outside of a motive of love for others, then it is a literal waste of time and we come across as a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
In other words, without love…with out communicating with the receiver in mind…we become obnoxious. And, sadly, a lot of Christians today are merely obnoxious clanging cymbals and gongs. They confront today’s hot topics but do it in such a way that immediately shuts down dialogue. They do it in such a way that comes across arrogantly. Some, I’ve seen, are even proud of this. They seem to think that people are rejecting the message and that they are fulfilling what Jesus said when he said “They have not rejected you but me”…when in reality I think the majority of the time it is the messenger that they are rejecting.
I know this from first hand experience. Because that used to be me. People would respond so ugly toward me, and would get so defensive with me, and so much more…and I would just say, “Well, clearly they cannot handle the truth.” But the reality was, I couldn’t handle loving them. I thought speaking the truth was enough. And then I really looked at Paul’s words there in 1 Corinthians and the Holy Spirit struck my heart.
They were responding that way because I had no love in me. I possessed the truth, but I possessed no love for them. I almost viewed them as my own enemy. What a distorted view I had of the whole situation, huh?
Over the last couple of years I have gone through a bit of an evolution as I have had to confront these things about myself and really examine my heart. I didn’t like what I saw, but thankfully the Holy Spirit has been empowering me to make the necessary changes to communicate better and to love people better.
I still believe the things I did back then, but how I communicate has changed. And it needs to change for a lot of other believers too…if they would just shut up long enough to take a long hard look in the mirror.
I don’t believe their behavior is entirely their fault. When you get in the trenches and you’re fighting every battle that comes your way, you become somewhat calloused. In fact, you can become so numb to the reality of things that you assume that if people aren’t fighting the battles like you’re fighting them, then they must be doing it wrong and then suddenly those who would your allies are now your enemies.
It’s almost like a spiritual form of PTSD!
If any of what I have described above sounds like you, and you want to find a way forward, I am more than happy to talk to you! Please drop me a line. Also, there is a podcast kicking off in September called “The Angry Christian Podcast” that will be exploring the topics of anger with a group of friends from all walks of life, and it might be worth while to drop in and listen for a while.
However you choose to confront these things in yourself, let us take these words from the Apostle Paul to heart:
Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone (Romans 12:18).
It was his sixth grade year and the boy was not only in a new school, but he was in a new city and a new state as well. Every aspect of the life he once knew had been uprooted and planted firmly in the middle of the state of North Carolina in a small town called Wake Forest.
Mere months before the boy had been enjoying his childhood in the mountains of West Virginia. Snow was a thing. Having four seasons was a thing. All of his friends were there. The school he had only one more year left in was there. His church was there. The things and people and places he loved were all in West Virginia, not in North Carolina.
But now his parents decided it was time to make a change in it all. So they held a yard sale, packed what was left, and moved the family to Wake Forest, North Carolina.
His father had just started attending Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary there in Wake Forest after having already spent 10 years in the ministry as a youth pastor and a senior pastor across Virginia, Tennessee and West Virginia.
His mother had just become a secretary to the president of that seminary after having spent the years prior supporting her husband in ministry and raising three children.
It was all so new.
It was all so scary.
But the boy didn’t let that bother him. He was outgoing, after all, and knew he could make a lot of friends. Though, he did miss his friends back in West Virginia…a lot.
As he walked through the doors of the new middle school he was to attend, it became quickly apparent that he kind of stuck out like a sore thumb. He wasn’t a rich kid. Never had been. He didn’t dress in name brand clothes or wear name brand shoes. Not that every kid at this school was Zach Morris or anything.
Shoot…his mom cut his hair and he wore huge plastic Urkel glasses. To make matters worse, he had just started learning the trumpet the year before and was walking through the doors of a new school in a new city and a new state immediately branded as a band nerd.
No one sniffs out the weak and scared quite as quickly as a bully does, and the boy soon became an unwitting target.
His trumpet was stolen and put in someone else’s locker.
His book bag had been ripped out of his arms and his books thrown down the hall.
Threats of getting beat up were made constantly.
The boy was truly terrified and had no idea where to go or what to do. Up until this point he was kind of excited about being in a new place, though understandably nervous, but this…this was becoming too much for him to handle.
Maybe it was just the kids in North Carolina. Maybe they were just meaner than the kids in West Virginia. Maybe not. Probably not. Who knows.
The boy sure didn’t know.
The boy sure didn’t care.
That boy…was me.
I had always been an outgoing kid. I never had issues making friends. My earliest memories consisted of my years in Oak Hill, WV and Bluefield, WV that encompassed kindergarten through fifth grade where I had made friends that, even to this day, I still talk to. Many of them were even in my wedding!
That was until Wake Forest Middle School.
This new situation had me terrified.
I had never faced anything quite like this before. Bullies? People threatening to beat me up, take my trumpet, and take my school books?
What does one do in this situation? I’ll tell you what I did!! I did what any smart terrified kid would do…I started faking I was sick so I didn’t have to go to school. Of course, that only lasted so long.
Eventually the school counselor was brought in, or rather I was brought into their office. I was promised that I would be watched over and taken care of. Nothing quite like being the new kid in town and having the teachers promise to watch over you. Could I get any more nerdy?
I spent the rest of my sixth grade year scared and constantly looking over my shoulder.
It was a miserable existence.
Sometime during and after my sixth grade year from hell, I finally made a friend in the neighborhood. He was one year behind me in school, which meant he would be moving up to my school at the start of my seventh grade year which, in my mind, was a good thing because this kid wasn’t afraid of anything, and I felt like I needed that in my life.
I needed someone I felt I could connect with in the hallways that wasn’t a teacher. I needed someone I felt like was on my side, who understood the struggles of an awkward middle school kid, and who would have my back and I could have their back.
For the sake of keeping real names out of the story we will just call this kid Billy. And Billy very literally became one of my best friends. Back in 1994 we started a relationship that would last all the way up to when I got married as he was actually in my wedding. In the early 90’s we spent those middle school years stuck to one another at the hip. We were a dynamic duo. No one at Wake Forest Middle School messed with us. And if they did, well, Billy would mess them up. At least that’s what I would tell myself would happen (whether or not it actually did happen).
Billy had a short fuse at the time, if I’m going to be fully transparent. And I’m sure if he was talking to you today, he would have to agree. He got into fights both at school and back home in our neighborhood which was seminary housing for students with families. I remember one fight that broke out at the bus stop before we even boarded the bus to go to school. I am pretty sure that neither Billy or the kid he fought actually made it to school that day.
Our neighborhood was interestingly nicknamed “Little Baghdad” by some of the kids there. Pretty messed up, huh? A bunch of kids of aspiring pastors, and our little neck of the woods was affectionately referred to as “Little Baghdad”. If I recall, that was a nickname it got long before my family and I had actually moved in. Not entirely sure how it got that nickname either. I suppose pastors kids are everything people think we are after all! (Totally joking my fellow pastors kids! PK’s unite!)
The neighborhood was a large town-home complex with several cul-de-sacs jutting off to the left as you made your way from the entrance at the bottom of the hill to the top of the hill where Billy and I lived.
A hill which, by the way, was excellent for riding large big wheels, roller blades, skateboards, or bicycles down. You could get some serious speed headed down the hill until you were abruptly stopped by the curb at the bottom.
We would spend hours doing this. And then, once you were at the bottom, you could often convince an adult driving back up the hill to give you a tow back up so you didn’t have to walk back up the long hill which, of course, meant more time spent speeding right back down again.
Billy lived at one end of the town-home building and I lived at the other end. We used walkie-talkies to communicate, and had even devised a plan to run a string from one town-home to the other through the adjoining attics and attach them to cans in our rooms so we didn’t have to always buy batteries or keep the walkie-talkies on if we wanted to talk. Unfortunately, we never followed through with this plan.
In a way we were a lot like those kids from that Netflix show, Stranger Things! Minus the demogorgon. And the upside down alternate dimension. And kids with super powers and stuff.
Okay fine, maybe we were nothing like those kids, but this much we did know: this was our block. We knew it and we owned it.
The younger kids feared Billy and I, though it wasn’t because we were going around beating kids up, we just walked tall and proud. The older kids knew not to try and corner us together because that was simply not going to end well for them. We even tried to start a bicycle gang. You know the kind that stuck baseball cards on the wheels with clothespins so it sounded like you had some sort of engine hooked up to your one speed pedal bike. The more cards you had on there, the louder it sounded. The louder it sounded, well, obviously the cooler you were. And we were cool. (Not!)
Our town-homes bumped up against a huge forest which we found ourselves wandering almost daily. We would spend hours back there building forts, riding our bikes off of sweet jumps, playing in the creek, panning for fools gold (though we could’ve sworn it was real gold), swinging from vines, digging pit traps, going exploring for what we were told was the mystical butterfly garden, and yes we even got lost back there one time and my dad was REALLY unhappy with me about that one. Billy’s dad was pretty ticked off too.
Truth be told, the neighborhood really wasn’t that bad.
No one got killed…or robbed.
There were no drugs.
Weapons were not drawn on people (unless you count hockey sticks and wooden swords made from scraps of wood from the dumpster).
But some of the kids in the neighborhood were rough. Including Billy. So was I.
As an aside let me just say that Billy is no longer like this. He has since grown up, gotten married, and had children. After all, this was 1993 through 1996. He has mellowed quite a bit since then, as have I. But at the time, he had a fierce temper.
I don’t know if I necessarily took my anger cues from Billy (though I’m sure our relationship probably had some impact as all relationships do), but I do know that as a result of my sixth grade year I had made a pact with myself that I wasn’t going to get bullied anymore. If I felt cornered or under attack, by golly, people were going to get bit.
As an adult I have since learned that some times we can make these inner vows and not realize what we’re really saying, just how potent they really are, and just how much of an impact it can have on our lives.
Like the pigeon in American Tail once said to Fievel, “Never say never again!”
Why didn’t I listen to that stupid pigeon in American Tail? He was so wise!
Why didn’t Fievel for that matter? Silly mouse.
This was no different. I had said to myself, “I will never get bullied again!” I didn’t care how that became a reality, I just knew that the way I felt in sixth grade; helpless, scared, lost, and constantly looking over my shoulder…that was something I never wanted to feel again.
I soon developed a quick witted tongue that could verbally cut anyone down that had the pleasure of ticking me off or thinking they could handle me in an argument. I never got into a physical fight though. However, I was fully prepared to do so if the need arose.
I wasn’t a mean kid. I wasn’t hateful. I didn’t walk around with a chip on my shoulder just waiting for the next person to look at me wrong so I could stick my fist in their mouth. But I did walk around a lot more cautious and prepared to defend myself than I was when I was in sixth grade.
Honestly, I don’t know what snapped in me because it wasn’t like an overnight transformation. Perhaps it was just the desire to not be someone else’s punching bag. Perhaps there was a bubbling raging version of myself always below the surface that just needed the right environment and experience to draw it out of me.
Either way, the angry beast was out of the cage.
The angry beast had been unleashed.
Recently, I’ve been doing a book study with a number of close friends of mine (and even some new friends I never knew I had!). The study is through the book titled, The Road Back to You by Ian Cron and Suzanne Stabile. To summarize, the book is an introductory journey through the enneagram, which is simply a tool to help you understand your personality type as well as your weaknesses and strengths in this personality type.
As I write this, we are only in our second week of the study, but it also means we have read through the first five chapters of the book. The first two chapters were an introduction to the enneagram, and chapters three through five were a deeper dive into the eight, nine, and one personality types on the enneagram.
Chapter three is the eight, or The Challenger personality type. It is the first personality type they really dive deeply into the book. And wouldn’t you know it, it is the personality type that I am.
I like to read (can’t say I always have though), but I go through books much faster when I use the audio book version. I already suspected that I was an eight based on the brief introduction to the subject in the first two chapters, but decided to let my wife listen to chapter 3 with me and get her first hand reaction as they described that personality type, mostly to see if she agreed with what I had already felt was likely my type.
Literally everything mentioned in that chapter my wife would simply nod in agreement and say, “Yep, this is definitely you!”
Friends, it is absolutely important to understand this recent development in me that has brought new understanding of myself in my current stage of life because if you understand what drives an eight personality type, and how they instinctively react to situations and people, then you will understand my life story and how I got to where I am now.
Usually, when you tell a story, you start at the beginning. But to truly appreciate my story, then starting at the end makes more sense.
But first, let me introduce myself…my name is Brad Bates, and I am a recovering angry Christian.
I had spent many years fuming and bubbling internally and externally over various people and aspects of my life, not knowing why I would feel so angry, or why I would lash out the way I did. But, thanks to the God I serve and His infinite grace, He opened my eyes to my heart condition and opened a door for me to truly take a look at myself and see myself as others saw me…and I didn’t like it…at all.
You see, on one fateful Halloween Day back in 2017, I walked into my office at the company I was working for at the time expecting a normal day on the job. Little did I know that within 30 minutes of walking through those doors that my life would get, in the words of a famous Prince, flipped turned upside down.
People, my life wasn’t just flipped and turned upside down, my life was rocked to the core.
On October 31, 2017 I was fired from a job I had held for almost 10 years. I was a married father of four children, with a brand new house we just bought, my wife didn’t work, and I just lost my primary source of income and support for my family.
I was angry, scared, and confused.
Why would God let something like this happen to me?
Doesn’t He realize that I have four children and a wife to take care of?
Doesn’t He realize I just bought a house?
How am I supposed to pay for this thing with no job?
Doesn’t He realize that I am a victim here?
Or was I?
The journey ahead is really a journey through what I’ve left behind.
My hope is that over the course of several months of writing and podcasts, I am going to unpack for you how a cute and adorable kid like myself from the great state of West Virginia can go from a happy go-lucky kid in the 80’s to an angry Christian in his mid-30’s on the verge of a major life shaking crisis, and then ultimately how I’ve come out on the other side of that.
Truth be told, my real hope is that people will read this and find themselves in one of three possible scenarios:
So, sit back, put your seat belts on, and enjoy the ride. There’s bound to be some bumps along the way. But together, perhaps we can pull out of a destructive path and put ourselves back on to a healthy road toward a growing compassion for ourselves and for others.
I’ve been in a lot of churches over the years, and not just ones that I have served on staff at or been a member at, but also visited alone or with friends, and there is a phrase I have heard quite frequently no matter the denomination, style, or location…and that is this:
To understand our Church you have to understand our DNA.
Or sometimes they simply say, “That’s just our DNA” in response to describing something about the personality of the church.
But what in the world do they mean by that??
What they usually mean by DNA is that their DNA is their cultural distinctions that have emerged in that specific local church body versus what you may find in other local church bodies.
For example, you may find a church that has…
In other words, there may be aspects of Christianity or the Christian life that, as a local church body, they gravitate more towards and want members of their local body to adopt as a major value and focus in their own lives as well.
It is true…we tend to gravitate toward those we have the most in common with, as there is comfort there. As a result there does emerge a common bond or DNA among the members of that local church body that becomes quickly apparent as you attend more and more of their gatherings.
In the Church culture context, this DNA usually flows down from Church leadership.
Church DNA and culture can be wonderful things to help center and unify a body.
But there is a fine line between establishing a Church culture…and establishing a cult.
In some cases, the church DNA makes a serious shift away from simply making a focus out of an aspect of the Christian life or Church life, and moves towards something that is far more harmful than we may really understand.
If you’ve been in a church body like this, perhaps you know what I’m talking about. It’s usually not something that happens over night either…but starts off with good intentions and suddenly becomes something far more than anyone bargained for.
Here are some signs you may want to keep your eyes open for:
I’m sure I could keep going…I don’t just speak these things from observation…but also from participation. I did a lot of these things. And perpetuated a lot of these things in some of the churches I’ve belonged to and served in over the years…but in light of that I have to ask…
I’ll tell you what happens…you move from having a culture to becoming a cult.
But is there any way to prevent this from happening, or at least put up some safeguards to help detect when this is happening and confront and address this before it becomes too late?
I do think there are at the very least two steps that can be taken to help protect a Church body from becoming victims of cult mentality. Here are just some I think would make a huge difference:
As with most things, there are plenty of other steps that can be taken, but I believe these two things specifically are foundational toward the development and health of a local church and helping to protect that body from moving into a cult like mindset.
I don’t envy you if you are, because I’ve been there, and I messed up with how it should’ve been handled. So what I’m about to tell you isn’t how I handled it at all, but after much thought, prayer, and regret…I believe this would’ve been the best approach (sometimes hindsight really is 20/20).
STEP 1: Pray and weigh out your concerns Explore with scripture and with God and the Holy Spirit what you are feeling and the concerns you have. Make sure that what you are seeing take place isn’t simply a reaction to an offense on your part. Then, if you have determined it’s not simply being offended…move to the next step.
STEP 2: Go to the Pastor and Church Leaders with your concerns The first step is simply to approach your pastor and church leaders with your concerns. Respectfully outline for them what you see as problematic. If they address them, and you see changes take effect…then this is wonderful. If they flippantly dismiss them, excuse them, or give you lip service and move on without even remotely considering your concerns, then you have cause to move to the next step.
STEP 3: Go to the outside accountability with your concerns If you know that there exists an outside accountability, then I would first recommend reaching out to them directly with your concerns. They will likely want to hear your side, they will then want to hear your pastors and church leaders side, and they may even want to bring you all together for a discussion. If it is determined by the outside accountability that nothing nefarious is taking place, but you still have a sinking feeling in your gut and you’ve given this over to lots of prayer and careful consideration (not simply jumping to conclusions and making irrational decisions), step 4 is the next and final step to take.
STEP 4: Find a new church You don’t want to do it. No one really wants to do it. But sometimes it’s absolutely necessary…hard…but necessary. You may be tempted to try and drag others out with you. Don’t do it. There is still a possibility you could be wrong about your understanding of the situation, and it would be unwise to pull others in to your corner unnecessarily. There may be times when it is necessary…but I would give careful thought toward that end, and seek a lot of wise counsel before deciding how to approach that.
Like I said, I didn’t do any of these things, and looking back I really wish I had. Don’t make the same mistakes I made assuming it will get better, and that it’s just the enemy who is trying to create division in the Church body. There may be very real concerns that need to be addressed, and if no one speaks up it may never get addressed.
Just make sure that when you act that you’re coming from a good spirit, with a right motive, and not acting on rumor, assumption, or offense.
There once was a man who was in the market for a car that was really good on gas mileage, was cheap, and was small (he worked in a downtown area where parking was minimal).
This man found a 2002 Mini Cooper with 56,000 miles on it for a darn good price.
He took it for a spin…
…and then he bought it.
Within a month of owning the Mini Cooper the car began to experience various issues. The issues began with an AC that suddenly stopped working, and then the car began to overheat, and then…in a grand display of frustration…the clutch cable snapped while the man was on his way to work leaving him stranded in the middle of the road during the morning rush hour commute.
The man was not happy.
The man began to wonder if he had made a mistake buying this car.
The mileage was right.
The price was right.
The car SEEMED right. But clearly…all was not right.
Things seemed OK on the surface, but with regular driving it suddenly became apparent that with age (the car was nearly 20 years old) that there were problems below the surface that the man was not aware of.
The man paid to have the AC fixed.
The man paid to have new brakes put on.
The man paid to have new tires put on.
The man paid to have the oil changed.
The man paid to have the clutch fixed.
The man thought, “Surely things will start looking up! I’ve practically replaced the whole car.” But within a few months the car was back to driving terribly. It idled horribly, especially when the AC was running. It was struggling to change gears. The gas mileage was terrible on a car known for having great gas mileage.
“Didn’t I just get a new clutch?” the man asked frustratingly.
Despite the brand name of the car, it was becoming clear that the Mini was becoming a HUGE problem.
In less than a year from being purchased the man took his car back to the transmission shop to have the transmission looked at it because he was getting nervous that the clutch would fail on him again.
Within a couple of days of the car being at the shop, the shop owner called the man to give him the bad news. The clutch was shot. Initially the shop owner blamed the mans long commute for wear and tear on the clutch, but when he got inside of the clutch the shop owner realized that the clutch bearing had broken loose and was causing all of the issues.
The clutch was replaced once more.
When the man got his car back, he noticed that his bad idle issues had disappeared, as well as the awful gear issues, he was getting much better gas mileage, and the car was generally running better than when he first purchased the car.
You see, all of these other things were merely symptoms of a deeper issue. When the deeper issue was rooted out and fixed, the other issues (symptoms) cleared themselves up.
The man could’ve kept on with the issues, and trying to fix AC issues by replacing AC parts. Or trying to fix idle issues with more oil changes or having the idle looked at. He could’ve just kept spending money on issues that he didn’t realize were actually symptoms of a single and far more important issue.
Once that issue was addressed, the other symptoms corrected course on their own.
Also…that man was me.
And that 2002 Mini Cooper is my car.
As I thought back over the car troubles I’ve experienced over the last year, I realized there were a few lessons to be learned that I think can relate at a deeper more emotional and spiritual level for us all as human beings:
I’m sure many other lessons can be learned, and I’m sure you could probably look at the story and make your own applications. But these 4 things are what stood out most predominately to me. I hope they give you some things to think about as you consider the problems you may be facing in your own life.
Take it from me…the last thing you want is to let your mini problems become HUGE problems.
Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.James 1:19-20 ESV
For a very long time…too long really, I’ve gotten this scripture backward. Very backward. I was REALLY quick to speak and REALLY slow to listen.
I would see something that triggered me (yes, conservatives get triggered – don’t let us tell you otherwise), especially on social media, and I would immediately take to the airwaves to let the world that was clearly wrong know just how right I was.
People would challenge me, I would ignore their challenges and keep beating that drum of mine, and ultimately I would get a lot of angry people shouting me down, mocking me, and calling me names.
Some would unfriend me.
Some would take to other threads to continue the bashing I was receiving.
Some would private message me to let me know exactly how much of a jerk I am.
Any challenge to my clearly right statement was met with statements to myself (or even to them) like:
“Well, clearly God has abandoned you to a debased mind or you would know what I’m saying.”
Or, I would convince myself that I must be experiencing what the bible calls “persecution” because so many people now hate me. The thinking process would look something like this:
If people hate me, then the passage where Jesus tells us that the world will hate us must be true because people are definitely hating me right now, therefore I must be doing the right thing and I’m just getting persecuted. It couldn’t POSSIBLY be anything else causing the response I got. Just a bunch of godless individuals who have been given over to their debased minds who do not understand truth because…you know…Romans 1:28-32.
If I had to convince myself that I was being persecuted, the likelihood of it being true was next to exactly ZERO.
But I’ve got a thick skull, and clearly I didn’t see it that way.
That is until October 31, 2017.
On this day I lost my job at a place I had been with for almost 10 years. I was working my way up. I was well respected (or so I thought). I was making decent money, and the benefits I received were so numerous and helpful for my family that my wife’s dream of being a stay at home homeschool mama could be a reality.
But back in September of that same year, I put things in to motion that would have a massive impact on me and my family…and probably countless others. And truth be told…it began long before that.
I’ll save you the details, but a dumb…immature…quick to speak and slow to listen version of myself took to Facebook and made some careless comments and another persons public thread that ultimately made their way back to my company.
So on Halloween day, 2017…I walked in a happy angry social media warrior Christian…and within less than an hour I walked back out an unemployed, depressed, and deflated good for nothing.
This was a devastating moment in my life. I brought it on myself. But even at that time, I tried to convince myself and others that my company was just clearly against my religious views and therefore I was once again being persecuted.
I spent 9 months unemployed.
I spent 9 months waking up, putting out hundreds of resumes, getting lots of rejection letters back, and going back to bed just as defeated as when I woke up.
But during these 9 months, God began a work in me that is still going on today almost 2 years later.
Honestly, I haven’t considered it until this very moment that I’m writing this, but those 9 months a lot like being pregnant….those 9 months were preparing me for a new version of me that I have never considered…much like being “reborn”…I spent 9 months in the dark to re-emerge a new man.
As I read these passages, these passages describing what a Christian looks like…I began to realize that I looked NOTHING like this. And it hits me…
OH MY GOD!
WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING?
HOW MUCH TIME HAVE I WASTED BEING THIS ANGRY SELF RIGHTEOUS JACKASS INSTEAD OF THE KIND, GENTLE, TRUTH LOVING (BUT PEOPLE LOVING) CHRISTIAN THAT GOD HAD CALLED ME TO BE???
I immediately set out to reverse course. If I didn’t, the small iceberg I hit in October of 2017 would pale in light of whatever big iceberg I was heading toward.
And out of that pain….I grew.
I’m still growing. I’m not there yet. I’ve got a long way to go. But I see the direction I’m headed, and I think God is pleased with that because it looks more like His Son. At least that’s my hope.
It quickly became apparent to others that this wasn’t the same Brad as before. For better or worse, many folks began to take note.
Many have been encouraging and letting me know how much they have appreciated seeing the change in me.
Some…however…just didn’t and still don’t understand me or where I’m headed.
I’ve received numerous messages from folks concerned that I’m suddenly heading in a dangerous direction (which is interesting, because they didn’t seem to think the direction I was heading in before was dangerous…and even rooted me on in those times).
They expressed their concern.
They challenged me to do serious introspection (as if I hadn’t just spent over a year doing just that).
I’m not mad at them. I’m thankful they felt they could come to me with their concerns. But unfortunately, they just don’t understand me at the moment. Perhaps in time they will. Perhaps not. Who is to say?
This much I know though…the old me…I don’t like that guy.
I still struggle with him cropping up from time to time like some Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde situation going on. But he’s becoming easier to control because I’ve begun to really practice those things I found in the Bible about being peaceful, kind, gentle, slow to speak, and quick to listen.
You may notice on this blog, at least from me, a new direction. I’m now on a mission.
I’m on a mission to:
And a whole lot emore.
You may notice a change in the tone of my writing. I will be transparent about my own struggles (which I’ve been pretty good about), but be humble enough to not come across as though I’ve got this figured out and that it’s still work I have to do and that God has to do on me.
You may notice a change in the topics I choose to speak on. There’s a lot of truth to be spoken, and a lot of hot topics to hit. But I may not run directly to them like I used to like a vulture on a dead carcass.
You’ll probably see more.
But just know this…I’m still me…but at the same time…I’m not.
And I hope you are still you…but at the same time…not.
Together, may we grow closer to God, closer to one another, and closer to truth.
I used to be pretty critical about those who didn’t “go to church”. Clearly, they lacked something I didn’t because they didn’t want to be AT church. Clearly they weren’t as committed to God and the Church as I was…I who was on staff and being paid by the church to be there.
That is…until one day, after over 16 years of ministry and suddenly not having a ministry to “work for”, coupled with God doing a bit of work in my heart…I realized I was too harsh…
I understand the heart of the pastor (remember – I’ve been one, and several family members are and have been as well)…I get it…I totally do. I know deep down in their hearts all they want is to see people connecting with the local church body. They want to see those people being transformed and discipled, and then going out and helping lead others into transformation and discipleship.
But inevitably they start tossing around comments about how uncommitted people are that don’t “go to church”. And it seems to me that judgment is being passed on something that perhaps they don’t really understand fully.
That’s not to be demeaning to pastors and church leaders (after all, I was in their shoes…and I totally didn’t get it then either), but the reality is a lot of pastors are sadly disconnected from the realities of what many of their church members go through or are experiencing.
Perhaps this is because those members do not speak about what’s going on.
Perhaps they don’t speak because they’re afraid of the judgment they may receive.
Perhaps the pastors have tried to reach out and are just being pushed away.
Either way, it’s a reality that many face.
The real troubling problem, however, is that BEING the church is much more than GOING to church. And the American Church has done a really good job of making GOING to church more important (almost) than BEING the church.
To many in the Church (leaders included), going to church is the benchmark of commitment.
Truth is, we have hundreds of people every day and every week who are struggling to “go to church” and it’s not because they don’t love God or the Church.
For some, they have suffered greatly at the hands of leaders and pastors of churches as they diligently served that church either on staff or as volunteers. They have been abused, manipulated, used, and then cast aside when they are no longer willing to be the pack horse for the church.
Others have been treated awfully by other members of the church. They have been made to feel shame over things that, frankly, don’t deserve shame (e.g. they are trivial and insignificant things that are usually ones personal conviction and not truly biblical commands).
They have been ostracized in the body that’s supposed to “love them”.
For some, they carry such weight of shame and guilt about how they are living, that as much as they may want to attend the church gathering, past experiences have shown them that they will be judged fiercely, and that’s just not something they want to put themselves through again.
That’s just a few reasons, and certainly not an exhaustive list. It can’t be. Everyone is different, and has their own unique experiences driving them to do what they do.
My point in all of this is simply to encourage pastors to not be so quick to assume what is going on, be less judgmental about those who do not “come to church”, and try to find a little grace and understanding in whatever it is that these folks may be unable to communicate adequately.
I understand the bible doesn’t teach us NOT to judge. But it does teach us to judge rightly…in other words…not jumping to conclusions or assumptions but judging rightly so that you may assess what is taking place more clearly so you can address it more adequately.
This is, after all, what Jesus taught us when He said:
John 7:24 – Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.
Christians and those of you so-called, you need to check your circle. Who’s encouraging you in the faith? Who’s reminding you of gospel implications in your every day struggles? Who has your ear, your head and your heart when difficulties arise or when drastic decisions need to be made? Take a look at the people closest to you. If you’re not being challenged or sharpened by those you hold most dear, consider a few things:
Someone in your crew is smiling in your face, laughing at your jokes and telling you that they love you and they really don’t. They have a contrary opinion to every aspect of your faith and they openly antagonize the God you say you pledge allegiance to with no regard. I am not saying we shouldn’t have unbelieving friends — I’ve got a lot of them. What I am saying you can’t play both sides of the fence.
We live in polarizing times. We seem to have drastically different opinions on every little thing. That’s okay when we’re talking about varying ways to honor God. It’s not okay when the discussion is about one way that honors God and what He says in the Word. Look at your circle again. Are the people most influential to you openly mocking and antagonizing your faith? Are they ridiculing those that are your brothers and sisters if you are indeed of the faith? Should you really be taking cues from the people that are in open rebellion to your God?
I’m asking these questions because I’ve seen so much of this. It’s disheartening to see so many people that claim to be Christians using arguments of those that have no interest in honoring God and are proudly making choices to spite Him. Say for instance, I once had a professing Christian challenge me on my view of Christian missionaries. While this person did not like my stance, there were people saying blatantly racist things about one missionary in particular and it went unchallenged. Yet, there was a problem with my support of those that are willing to go to dangerous places.
Unbelievers like to excuse their sins because Christians sin too. Is that a biblical defense for anything? Will anyone be around when you’re being judged? Why are people that call themselves Christians sharing these biblically illiterate memes and judging people by the specks in their eyes? Aren’t we plainly told to not do that? Listen, friends. I’m not saying these things to excuse any sin or hypocrisy on any given issue. I’m just saying we need to be consistent.
Again, take a look at your circle. Do you find yourself siding with your circle over brothers and sisters who aim to honor God? Do you find yourself siding with people that frequently clash with those that are bold enough to take a biblical stand against things God says are evil? You may want to reconsider who you let influence you if so.
But, hey. You don’t have to take my word for it. You don’t have to believe anything I say. If you’re a believer, you should care about what God says.
It goes on and on. Beware who you side with. You may find yourself opposing God.
Chris Cornell, Chester Bennington, Robin Williams, Kurt Cobain and the list goes on and on. Two people that helped shape me went out the same way that they did. There was a point in time when I could have joined this list. Not intentionally, but because of reckless abandon. A good friend of mine held someone he loved in the aftermath of this.
How do we get here? We live in a time where we’re more connected than we’ve ever, but people are more lonely than ever. It doesn’t take much scrolling to see graphics and/or defiant statements about cutting people off and shouldering life alone. It doesn’t a lot to find talk of anxiety or loneliness either. How do we get here even though we have the world at our fingertips? We can literally contact just about anyone we want to at any given time, yet we’re so alone.
Today marks the fourth year since the day I woke up in jail, and I’ve been thinking about that all day. I am not sure how I got there that night. I was surrounded by people that care about me. That night, I was completely blind to all of it. Nothing mattered to me but getting through the struggle at the time and doing it alone. It was a stupid and unnecessary decision that could’ve landed my name on that list.
“Yeaaaah, I’m in jail…” That were the first words that came out of my mouth when I finally remembered my work number. It was my boss that answered the phone. “Yeah.. yeah, you are” he said matter of flatly. They knew already. One of my co-workers found me as soon as I showed up in the system, he explained to me. He rattled off names of people that were worried sick about me. As I listened to him talk about all the concern about my well being, my mind was reeling.
How did I not know that there were so many people around me that had my back? How did I not know that those people love me? Why didn’t I reach out to one of my old friends? Why didn’t I reach out to my best friend? With every name he shared, I had to ask myself why. My friends posted my bail as soon as they found out what happened. They were outside waiting for me to be processed and released. They took so long to let me out, people were doing shifts around the jail so I’d have a way home when I finally got out. THAT is love.
Beautiful friendships were born out of that bad weekend. I told my story to anyone that would hear it. I had to. Not telling my story is what landed me there in the first place. It was hard. It’s still hard. As an introvert by nature, it’s not easy for me to bare my heart when something is really hurting me. Like any other person, I don’t want to risk being further hurt by opening up to someone that turns out to be not trustworthy either. There’s a plethora of relatable reasons any of us have to shoulder our burdens alone, but it’s not meant to be that way.
We need one another. We’re communal beings. We can’t handle all of life’s problems alone. We’re not designed to even be capable of handling it all. We all need somebody to lean on. My refusal to accept that could’ve cost someone their life. It could’ve cost me mine.
I’m hitting extremes, and I realize that. Everyone that’s alone doesn’t commit suicide or put people in mortal danger like I did. But, this loneliness that’s so prevalent in our culture doesn’t have to be. Some of anxiety we feel about one another could possibly be coming from the inability to relate and resolve conflict with one another through authentic relationships too.
This tool that we have, the internet. It’s great. I can check up on people I haven’t seen since 6th grade and we can talk to each other. I can see how my family is doing and check up on them even though we’re in different parts of the country and living completely different lives. I can even hold on tightly to relationships that were born online and help them blossom into more. And that has happened. One of the most important friendships I have is with someone from Rhode Island. That’s pretty far from anywhere I’ve ever lived and we’re still more than just a name and a picture to one another.
There’s a lot to be said to this, but for now, we need each other. We have to do the hard work of building trust and the harder work of baring our souls if we want love to be more than some fickle and fleeting feeling we get once in a while. That is suicide prevention. That is intervention. That is therapy. That, for some of us, is all we need.
If you peruse this blog site for any amount of time, you will probably find a number of articles pertaining to the subject of moving on. And that’s probably because, personally, I have had a lot of stuff over the course of my life that I have had to try and move on from.
Even now, I’m still trying to move on from various things.
But I know I’m not the only one.
In fact, if I had to guess, you’re probably reading this article right now because you’re thinking to yourself, “I’ve got this thing going on in my life, and I am struggling to move past it, and I just don’t know what to do.”
Let me first say to you that it is perfectly OK to admit you’re struggling with something. Admitting you’re struggling is literally the first step toward healing. However, it is the moment that you deny that you are struggling with something that the real problems set in.
Pretty sure Dr. Phil said this (maybe not though), but denial helps exactly ZERO people 100% of the time. That’s a fact!
The reality is, moving on from something, especially something that has wounded you deeply, takes a LOT of work. Unfortunately, most folks would rather enjoy the company of their sorrow than to put in the hard work to move through the pain and come out on the other side of the mess.
Not only are they content with wrapping themselves up at night to snuggle into their misery, but they want to bring others into their misery as well. Ya know? Have a big misery snuggle fest together!
Ever heard the phrase, “Misery loves company”?
If not, let me give you a quick history lesson: this is a proverb that dates back hundreds of years. Similar phrases were written by Sophocles, however the earliest recorded English use was around 1349.
The basic idea is that miserable people find comfort in making others miserable.
We’re all guilty of it at one time or another…and if you deny that, well…go back up a few paragraphs and have a heart to heart with Dr. Phil.
Deep down you know exactly what I’m talking about. Often we find that we feel comforted by the thought that other people are miserable too. We go out of our way to bring others into our misery so we don’t feel alone in our misery.
It’s not a healthy practice, but it is widely practiced by everyone at one time or another.
The Bible tells us that there is a time for everything, perhaps even being miserable:
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 MSG – 1 “There’s an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth: 2 a right time for birth and another for death, a right time to plant and another to reap, 3 a right time to kill and another to heal, a right time to destroy and another to construct, 4 a right time to cry and another to laugh, a right time to lament and another to cheer, 5 a right time to make love and another to abstain, a right time to embrace and another to part, 6 a right time to search and another to count your losses, a right time to hold on and another to let go, 7 a right time to rip out and another to mend, a right time to shut up and another to speak up, 8 a right time to love and another to hate, a right time to wage war and another to make peace.”
According to the writer of Ecclesiastes, there is a time to cry, lament, search, and hold on to something. But there is also a time to laugh, cheer, count your losses, and let go of something.
We’re really good at the first part…not so good at the second part.
One thing to realize before we move further into this discussion is that the time for folks to move on will be different from one person to the next, but there still needs a moment to move on.
We want people to move on from something on our time table. Rarely do we recognize that our time table of healing and moving on may look different from someone else.
But at the same time of recognizing this, we also have to recognize that there are some people who are refusing to move on. And this is unhealthy. As a result of refusing to move forward, they are becoming bitter, angry, and difficult to be around.
There is a sort of finesse to the whole moving forward thing…an art of moving on if you will. It isn’t easy and it will require a serious mindset change. But if we can start moving our mindset in the right direction, then we can start moving our entire being toward finally getting past the misery that’s been haunting us for however many days, months, or years it’s been there.
It’s time to start getting uncomfortable in our misery and find a way to move forward.
There are a few things that must take place inside of an individual in order for them to effectively perfect the art of moving on. At some point the individual must…
I’m sure there are more than 7 things that a person needs to do in order to effectively master the art of moving on. But this is a good starting place.
We are all going to experience miserable moments in life. It’s just the facts of life. But our miserable moments don’t have to become the definition of our life. Experience that moment. As I’ve pointed out, even the Bible recognizes that these moments are going to come.
But at some point you MUST pick yourself up and realize that this moment is but a moment and will pass and that there are moments that are coming and that you are currently in that are not miserable that need your undivided and non-miserable attention.
Let the healing begin!
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate. Psalm 127:3-5 ESV
It may come as no surprise to anyone, but I hate a mess. In fact, I have great anxiety when I walk into the middle of clutter, dirt, and chaos.
Interestingly, prior to being married, there was once an event that took place when my mother-in-law to be, her sister-in-law, and my wife-to-be walked into the apartment that my now-wife and I would be sharing after we got married and they took one look around and were shocked.
They were shocked because they saw that there were no piles of dirty dishes piling up in the kitchen sink.
They saw the carpets and floors clean.
They found my bed made and all my dirty clothes in a dirty hamper.
They even found my closet with my clothes in a specific order and my shoes neatly ordered along the floor.
Don’t get me wrong, they won’t going around looking in my apartment for a mess. They were simply scoping out the space to get an idea of how we would move my wife in once we were married.
They made the comment about how surprised they were to find a bachelor living in such a clean environment.
Fast forward nearly 14 years (on May 14th of this year…yes…I remember!), and you will find my house full of toys, dirt, piling up dirty dishes, clothes everywhere, and just masses and masses of stuff.
No, my wife and I have not become hoarders. We just went from being a family of 2 to a hoard of 6.
Where once were 2 adults, there now stands 2 adults, 4 children, 2 dogs, a cat, and a rabbit. All occupying the same 1,650 square feet of space.
Bumping into one another.
Stepping on one another.
Crowding one another.
Aggravating one another.
Crying with one another.
Laughing with one another.
Screaming at one another.
Playing with one another.
Eating with one another.
Watching movies together.
You name it…there are now 6 people and a bunch of animals doing life together.
Did I mention that I hate a mess?
You can only imagine how this must pain me to see when I come home from a long day at the office, and an hour long commute home through some of the nations worst traffic.
And for a while there (a long while to be exact), I got aggravated. Miserably aggravated and angry. I took it out on my wife and kids, wrongfully I might add.
They were (and are) doing the best they can, and I wasn’t doing all that I could.
But the reality is this, this…mess….this is my life. This mess is a testament to what has become a beautiful blessing. This mess represents my wife and my children (and my animals) and this mess is slowly becoming less of a burden…and more of a reminder that God has dumped on my heaps of things to be thankful for.
Thankful for a wife who loves me and supports me, and works hard to manage a part time job and homeschooling our children (and trying to manage the household somewhere in between).
Thankful for four beautiful kids, each with their own unique personalities and interests. Not a single one of them like the other. Growing, maturing, learning, changing…not only blessings, but they are a responsibility that God has given me to help raise into equally wonderful adults.
Thankful for a roof over my head, food in my belly, clothes on my back, and transportation to and from my house and wherever I may need to go.
Looking back, and now also looking forward, I must do better at enjoying the moment and seeing this mess for what it really is….
….the aftermath of a beautiful and blessed life.
Today felt lively. The local church showed up in great numbers and there were prominent voices in the abolitionist movement present. Joseph Spurgeon, R.C. Sproul Jr. and Rusty Thomas were among the more widely known voices pleading for the lives of the unborn among us. Solidarity is important and I think it’s something worth discussing. It was invigorating to see so many stirred up to do this hard work. But, this post isn’t about that. This post is about dishonest people that claim to champion “choice”.
There are many charges to the church that carry legitimate weight. Yes, more of us should be in this fight. Yes, more of should be doing more than sharing memes. Yes, some of us should be backing up our claims with our pockets. Yes, some of us should repent of sins that could lead to the very thing we’re at war against right now. Yes, and amen. I agree with you skeptics. Yes, some of us need to be more consistent and we need to be willing to make sacrifices if it is true in our heart of hearts that we want to see this end for good. That’s as far as it goes. From there, we remain at odds because those that challenge us with those claims are often hypocrites and liars.
Let’s cut through the crap and be honest, eh? You don’t really care that more children aren’t being adopted. How do I know that? Firstly, if everyone that brought that charge to the church had first themselves sought after rescueing a child that could get lost in the system, this would not be a problem. Secondly, there are many children being rescued and adopted through efforts made to avert abortions. Thirdly, it’s a lot cheaper to kill a child than it is to save one, but I can’t hear any of the opposition making noise about that. And fourthly, just because I or someone else doesn’t want to take the responsibility for your sexual sin doesn’t give you the right to kill someone. What kind of insane logic is that?
If you look at the debates happening here and there on the internet, these are the kinds of objections you see. They ask why we don’t go inside (it’s illegal), and offer to adopt the unwanted children about to be killed (we do), or offer to pay for the medical expenses for the children we’re fighting to save (we do). It’s excuse after excuse after excuse. We have people that have resources like food, water, shelter, transportation, employment and money. We offer all of the things they claim we don’t bring to the table and more.
Do you know what happens when you can prove that the church is doing all that she can do to save those babies and these assertions are illegitimate? They show their cards. They pretend the conversation never happened and revert back to how they really feel: they just want to kill without consequence and not be bothered with us. Of course, I can’t make specific charges to every single person that supports abortion. Some will consider these words. Some may change their minds about their objections to us. Sadly, the common outcome is if you let them talk long enough, you’ll see that they don’t care about the reality of the situation. They just want to do what they want to do and that’s to kill the baby.
They don’t have biological reasons. Babies are concieved with their own seperate DNA. These people that claim faith don’t have religious reasons. God said He knows His children by name in the womb (Isaiah 49:1). Their arguments aren’t logical. They’re fallacious and emotional. All they have are excuses.
We will NOT be silent. We will NOT accept excuses. We will NOT let the bodies of the pre-born neighbor be trampled over. We are NOT onlookers. We are soldiers at spiritual war. It’s time we take up the armor of God and continue to encourage our brothers and sisters to do likewise.
Sometimes I have to process things really slowly, especially when those things involve people I was close to. For instance, I have been working through processing a couple of events that took place in the last couple of months that seemed rather unnecessary and petty, but came from the least likely sources.
For example, I recently got raked over the coals publicly by a pastor friend that felt I had gotten too soft on social media because I dared to post more things that were not political in nature or culturally engaging than I might have normally done in the past. Things that were more light hearted, less controversial, and dare I say…personal in nature.
I was accused of taking a “social justice warrior” stance, promoting “false teachers” (e.g. Francis Chan), and leading members of his congregation astray and causing others in his church to feel discouragement toward me. I was accused of violating some sacred trust I was given to speak into the lives of his church members that, apparently, he alone granted me…on social media. I was also accused of drifting toward heretical belief systems.
He even went so far as to tag my pastor at the time in his comments to offer up public correction and rebuke of me because I was “his disciple”, or to correct him if he felt he was in the wrong. Unfortunately, no such public response came to my defense…by anyone really.
I eventually deleted the comments and removed the pastor friend from my life as it was clear that the relationship was not a healthy one.
And what was the post that spurned such a response? I had been so bold as to make the suggestion that God was more concerned with our inner appearance (our hearts) than He was about our exterior appearance (what we wear).
I was taken aback by it, if I am honest.
None of those things spoken of me and over me were true. They hurt because the accusations came from someone I had assumed knew me and supported me.
Thankfully, I know my heart…and I know the God I serve…and I didn’t allow those things to define me. I let them roll off. Didn’t mean the hurt didn’t still remain…but I knew the words to be untrue. It also helped to have a wife who looked at me and reaffirmed the fact that those things were not true and not to believe them.
I experienced another similar event even more recently by another person I trusted…except in that case an entire article was written about me claiming and declaring things about me that were entirely untrue. It segued into more general points, but it was pretty clear that even the general stuff, having been preempted by the more direct, was about me.
This article was supposedly written in response to an article I had written. In my article I took great care not to single anyone out, and keep it as a general high-level observation of things I had witnessed in my own time in ministry…not of any one person.
Even as I write this article, while I’m giving specific examples, I’m trying to do my best not to uncover specific people and expose them personally. It is quite difficult to address such things that were stated about you publicly without revealing a little. But, hopefully the majority will not go on the hunt to find out who these individuals were because that is not my intent.
Back to the example…
The article written about me was not done that way at all. It was clearly written about me. The only thing left out was my name, but anyone who had read my article, or knew this relationship, could easily connect the two. It was written in a somewhat mocking manner, sarcastically, and even belittled me and the content I had written. I had a few folks reach out privately and ask about it and then express great disappointment in what they had seen after I provided more context to the situation.
That one probably hurt even more than the other one. But again, I had to remind myself that those things spoken about me were not true.
My point in all of this is simply this…mean and horrible things will be said about you (and even to you) by people you love and trust. It may be that you have evolved in your understanding and application of things (and I’m not talking about moving in to heresy) which will rub people you were close to the wrong way. Those things may strike chords in them that you never expect would result in the things they say to or about you. It may be, like in the case of my second example, that you write something as a general observation that gets taken as a personal attack, and receives an unnecessary public admonishment. It’s not a matter of IF, but WHEN.
The real unfortunate thing is, those people have allowed themselves to be used by the enemy to hurt and maim you. They may not realize it. They may think they are doing “God’s work”, but in reality they are throwing spears and arrows on behalf of the enemy.
There are a few ways to combat this though. I call this the 3 R’s of Moving On:
A quick caveat: I am not assuming guilt or innocence concerning myself or others when these things occur. These individuals may very well be pointing out things you need to consider. So, certainly consider what is being said carefully before tossing it all out with the bathwater. But, at the same time, you don’t have to receive things that are being said maliciously, callously, or carelessly. If they truly valued you and their relationship with you, they wouldn’t make a public spectacle of things.
I realize that these steps may be easier said than done. It isn’t easy to look at long time relationships and make the decision to walk away from it when it appears to be moving toward a toxic and unhealthy place. But sometimes it is absolutely necessary in order for you to heal, to grow, and to move forward.
I would encourage you, that if you are reading this and can relate to what I’m saying, to seek out the wise counsel of a pastor, friend, or family member that you can trust will speak truth in love to you. That will help you discern what God may be saying in these matters. And that will take seriously the pain you are experiencing.
Being called a Spiritual Son or hearing someone call themselves my Spiritual Father (or mother) was something I wasn’t used to growing up in the Southern Baptist Church. Which is odd, because there is certainly this type of relationship displayed throughout the Bible.
After all, one of the most prolific of this sort of relationship in the Bible was between Paul and Timothy. We know this was a special relationship because Paul called attention to it in 1 Timothy 1:2 when he said, “To Timothy, my true child in the faith”.
My point, though, is simply that the concept of being a Spiritual family to others who are not in fact blood related, is a very biblical concept.
I have been called a Spiritual Son before by various people. Especially in the charismatic church circles I ran with over the last several years.
But as I examined the relationship between Paul and his Spiritual Son and the relationship I have had with my Spiritual Father’s, I couldn’t help but notice there was something amiss. There was something missing.
Before I speak of what was missing, let’s first take a moment and look at the ways Paul referred to Timothy:
As you read those phrases, I’m certain some words stand out to you. Words like child, beloved, and faithful. They evoke feelings of a fondness of Timothy by Paul. They imply a familial level of relationship that you don’t have with just anyone. They give us a peak behind Paul’s chest and directly into his heart as it relates to Timothy.
I read these phrases, and my heart leaps at the thought that one person could mean so much to another to be called a son. It was obvious that Paul thought highly of Timothy, and it showed in not only his words, but also his actions.
I’m sure a lot more could be said, but you get the general idea here. Paul and Timothy truly exemplified the meaning of Spiritual Family.
I mentioned earlier that I have been called a Spiritual Son in the past.
Truth-be-told, there were a lot of great moments in those relationships. I cannot deny that at all. Times when I truly felt loved, mentored, and embraced as a Spiritual Son. But at some point, in every single instance, something changed or was missing from the beginning that perhaps I just didn’t catch in the midst of it.
In some cases it was one thing or two things, in other cases a whole lot was missing.
But something that was missing, that they all had in common, was this:
Their relationship to me was restricted by geographic location.
I’m not just talking about where I lived, but also restricted by where we attended church gatherings.
When I read about Paul and Timothy, as I pointed out above, this was simply not the case. Paul was never in the same place very long. But even as he was on the move, heading to another location to preach the gospel and establish the Church in a new country or city…he ALWAYS stayed connected to Timothy. Be it in person or through hand written letters.
In a day and age where there was no internet or telephone, Paul kept their relationship alive and growing no matter where he was on the earth. Even from behind the bars of a prison!
Imagine how Timothy must’ve felt? That Paul would even think of him behind bars? Timothy knew that he truly meant something to Paul. There was no mistaking it. No matter where he was on the earth, Timothy knew.
And yet, in the age we live in where connecting with someone is literally a text or phone call away, it seems the ones who have called me a Spiritual Son have had a hard time keeping their connection to me.
I haven’t walked away from the faith.
I haven’t walked away from ministry.
But it is painfully clear, or at the very least appears to be, that our connection didn’t mean as much as was initially portrayed. Perhaps it is because I no longer serve a purpose for them. Or perhaps its because they no longer feel we have anything in common. Perhaps they still see me as a Spiritual Son, but just have a funny way of showing it.
I still love them all. Everyone of them.
But no one knows for sure why the connection seemed to end, except them.
I do not believe anyone enters into a relationship expecting to hurt the other person, or to see a relationship crumble. But I think greater care must be taken when establishing such relationships that merit terms like Spiritual Father and Spiritual Son.
This is what I do know, and what I have learned in these experiences:
Be careful of who you call a Spiritual Son. Not because they may be evil or something, but because who you call a Son will ultimately become a person who will commit to you a loyalty that no other person will give. And should you take that step, you are opening the door for a relationship that is deep, fierce, and meaningful to the Son. Don’t violate it when it becomes a burden to you.
If you take that step to call someone a Spiritual Son, understand that you were the one who opened the door for a relationship that you must now pursue as a father pursues a son. If you feel the relationship may be changing, be man enough and godly enough to communicate that. Understand that how you choose to handle it going forward could potentially have a serious impact on their ability to trust future men who may call them a Spiritual Son.
Instead, as the Bible instructs us, go the extra mile as you would for your own flesh and blood son. Don’t just walk away from it because you simply “assume” it doesn’t matter to them. After all, would you walk away from your biological son?
In other words, the very act of calling someone a Spiritual Son is something that ought to be treated with great care. This isn’t just another member of the Body that you may or may not have to keep a connection with.
You have opened a door and invited a person into a place that others are not privileged to be part of.
Steward it well.
Question: Why do you believe the bible?
Answer: Because it’s a reliable collection of historical documents written by eye witnesses during the lifetime of other eye witnesses that reported supernatural events in fulfillment of specific prophecies. Finally, they claim that these messages are divine rather than human in nature.
“Thus says the Lord”, and variations of the statement depending on what translation you’re studying with, appears all over the Old Testament. God’s prophets didn’t speak in their own names. They claimed to speak for God. God validated the authenticity of their claims with public signs.
This would not stop anyone from claiming to speak on behalf of God at any given time, but God has given us standards to look to. One of those is the aforementioned signs. The other is consistency with the truth. There are some verses that distinguish true prophets from those taking the Lord’s name in vain that we can look to (Deuteronomy 13:1-3 / 18:15-22).
This is the point that ties everything together. There is nothing of antiquity or otherwise that boasts the credentials of scripture. It was written over the span of roughly 1,500 years. The authors were the very rich on down to the very poor. These men spoke different languages. They lived in different places. Most of them never met one another. They even spoke into different topics that ultimately ties to one overarching narrative of redemption.
If you don’t know who Jesus is, there is no way to give a consistent answer to this (John 5:46). Red letter Christians aren’t gonna like this, but over and over Jesus claims not only to be the coming Messiah, but He’s also one with the God of Abraham (John 1:1). He’s the one that gave the words to the prophets of old to speak (John 8:48-59).
Unlike any of the other prophets, Jesus never uttered the words “Thus says the Lord” or any variation. He said “You have heard it said, but I say...”. He spoke on His own authority, which was unheard of and considered blasphemous. This is how we know for sure that all scripture is God breathed and profitable for teaching (2 Timothy 3:16-17). ALL of it comes from Jesus, not just words that were written in red ink starting in 1899.
If you still can’t get on board with Jesus, you’ve got to wrestle with this. Eternity is a long time to be wrong. All that time from start to finish. All those prophecies that just so happened to be fulfilled in one man that claimed to be God. All those public miracles acknowledged even by opposition to the church. That one empty tomb that no one can give account for outside of a resurrection. A church that spread like wildfire in the face agonizing persecution. What does all this say to you? Seek Jesus. None of this will make sense outside of Him.
Recap: God has something to say about knowledge. The bible is a reliable collection of historical documents. It was written by eyewitnesses in the lifetime of other eyewitnesses. Continuing that thought, these witnesses reported supernatural events in fulfilment of specific prophecies.
I emphasize specific, because that’s just what this is. These are not some vague Nostradamus type of predictions that can be applied to any given world event. These are specific prophecies bound by time, geography and biology. Each of these prophecies were made hundreds — and in some cases, over a thousand — years before the birth of Christ. Here’s a list along with the estimated times these predictions were written:
My aim was to list just ONE from each Old Testament book. I couldn’t resist sharing more than one in some cases because of things they say that are commonly known about Jesus, even to unbelievers. If you don’t believe Jesus, you have to wrestle with this: it was told what kind of birth He would have, into what lineage He would be born, what kind of life He would live, how He would die, how people would react to his death, in what manner He would be buried AND what He would do after His death. There are at least 400 prophecies/foreshadows directly concerning Jesus that were written hundreds of years before His incarnation and He fulfilled them all.
If you don’t believe Jesus, you have to wrap your head around a naturalistic explanation for all of that — let alone the other things we know concerning scripture. Believe Moses! You have no reason not to. Jesus said that what Moses has written is true. If you do not believe Moses, you can’t believe Jesus. That’s who Moses was speaking of when he wrote (I use him as a representative of the entire Old Testament. You get the point, right?)
*Note: The date of Job is unknown, but it’s considered to be the oldest book of the bible.
In case you missed it, the third entry of this series on apologetics was about eye witnesses to Jesus’ ministry. Consider this entry part two of entry #3. This is also going to be about eye witnesses, but from a different vantage point. You see, those that claim that the disciples just “made up” the stories or were “just trying to control people” are ignorant about the religious climate of the day. Let’s dig in!
Let’s start with the men that were the closest to Jesus during his ministry. After His arrest, Peter famously denies knowing Him three times. A less discussed point on this matter is Peter denied knowing Him to a servant girl (Luke 22:54-62). He was afraid to tell a little girl what his position was (And if you’re going to tell stories like this, wouldn’t you leave the personally embarassing bits out???). Peter was afraid of what the authorities might do to him if they found out he was following Jesus.
Just a short time later, Jesus was executed. Of the 12 apostles, the only one present at the cross was John (John 19:26). The rest of them deserted Him and fled for their lives (Mark 14:50). Fast forward a few years later, and their attitudes had changed dramatically. All of them except John (not for lack of trying) were martyred.
The only apostle of the twelve to die a natural death was John, but not for lack of trying. He was boiled alive in oil and exhiled to die alone on an island. Even then, he was still serving Jesus. Something pretty spectacular must have happened for a group of men to go from running scared to proclaiming Christ unto death. That was the penalty for Christianity. Death.
In the previous entry, I introduced two names that are bound together in scripture. Luke, the author of two New Testament books was a physician and historian. He’s bound to Theophilus, a nobleman. This honorable man thought so much of Luke’s credentials, that he hired him to investigate the life of Christ and the explosive growth of the church. He wanted to know if the rumors about Christ were true. If they lived through being found out, these men had prestige to lose.
There’s a second couple bound by scripture that are important to make this point. Those men were Stephen, the first known Christian martyr, and Saul of Tarsus, a religious leader of the day. Saul sanctioned the stoning and death of Stephen. This is especially relevant because Stephen defied the Sanhedrin and Pharisees publicly and to their faces even though they had the authority to execute him, which they eventually did when they could tolerate his preaching no more (Acts 7:54-60).
In the following chapters of Acts, Saul gives up his nobility to serve Christ. Why would this man step down from a pedastal of high repute and subsequently lose his social stature? Why would he then go on to do the same things he had Stephen killed for? Why would he continue on this way after being beaten (Acts 22:24), stoned (Acts 14:19), shipwrecked (Acts 27:27 – Acts 28:5), imprisoned (Acts 16:16-40) and put on house arrest (Acts 28:17-31)?
This man went on to contribute a sizeable portion of the New Testament preaching the same Christ he was slaughtering Christians over virtually overnight. So, what happened? Why did this man, a pharisee, well respected by his peers and feared by commoners, defect to the group of people he hunted down and imprisoned personally (Acts 8:1-3)?
This man spared man nor woman, but suddenly decided it appropriate to subject himself to the terrorism he himself inflicted on Christians. Why? Like all the other witnesses of the day, he met the resurrected Christ personally (Acts 9). It changed his life’s direction forever, until the day he too was finally beheaded for his faith.
Christians faced this hostility for another 300 years before Constantine put an end to it. That’s three centuries of crufixions, being fed to lions, being stoned and being lit up like tiki torches by the romans and STILL persisting. The accusation that the early church was making a power play is laughable at best and greviously insulting to the blood spilled at worst.
I’m going to stop here and point you to Acts 2. Peter here is preaching to the very people that had Jesus killed.
How to Destroy Christianity With One Simple Step (Video)
Recap: In the previous entries on apologetics, I’ve shared the emphasis God puts on knowledge and the unique composition of the the bible. In this entry, I’ll share the next reason I believe what the bible says and why I think you should too. The bible was not written in a vaccuum. No one just made up stories and convinced people to believe them. The bible was actually written by eye witnesses during the lifetime of other eye witnesses.
The most common book of the bible people refer to a person that’s interested in the claims made of Jesus is The Gospel of John. Why? Because John’s purpose of writing was so that we might believe. He says it outright (John 20:31). It’s the most popular testimony concerning Christ, but that one isn’t my personal go to. What I like to refer people to is The Gospel of Luke followed by The Acts of the Apostles. Why? Because unlike the other gospels, Luke actually was NOT an eye witness.
That may seem strange. Why pick the guy that wasn’t there? It’s antithetical to what I claimed this post is going to be about, right? Well, no. Just the opposite. Luke wasn’t there, but he had access to a lot of people that were. He was a companion of Paul and a brother of Titus (the latter claim is disputed by some). In addition to these uniqute relationships, Luke was both a physician and historian. He wasn’t going to take anyone’s word for anything. He went on an investigation.
Let’s get some context for the political climate of the day. There were some serious consequences for proclaming Christ as Lord in His day. People were being crucified, stoned, fed to lions, flogged, boiled in oil, set ablaze and suffering other horrendous punishments (It’s a testimony in and of itself that there were people that witnessed the power of Christ that went from shouting “crucify Him” to being willing to be so brutally murdered, but that’s another post by itself). Yet, Luke had been hired by a dignitary of the day to present the original “Case for Christ”. Both Luke and Theophilus, whom the former refers to the latter as “excellent” (ESV), had something to lose. Not only their reputations, but their lives as well.
In the results of Luke’s investigation, he opens with stating that he wrote an “orderly account”. As a historian, accuracy, structure and chronology are important to his presentation. This is what he’s alluding to. As you read along, you’ll see things about Jesus’ close relatives. Luke had to have interviewed them for his report. Mary was likely one his primary sources. Luke also had a relationship with other eye witnesses and referenced his knowledge of the other accounts given by them (possibly a reference to Matthew & Mark’s gospels that were likely already circulating).
After Luke’s account of the life, death and ressurection of Christ, He continues in The Book of Acts. In that second work, also written for Theophilus, Luke records the post ressurection encounters with Jesus and the explosive growth of the early church. He’s not only documenting the difficulties and persecutions the early Christians are facing, he’s assuring someone of affluence that he can be sure that what he has heard is true. It was worth the risk of losing everything up until life to follow Jesus. Differing from The Gospel of Luke, the author was present for events documented here.
Learning all this, I ask myself a few questions. Why aren’t there any documents of antiquity disputing what Luke and the other authors of the New Testament proclaim? Where are the publicly disputed objections? How could the apostles go from running scared after Jesus was arrested and brutally murdered to proclaiming His name just days after His execution? How does one go from hiding and meeting in secret to boldly preaching and being crucified upside down? Why would the authors of the bible publicly address the churches they were building with so much risk at stake? Paul lays it out in 1 Corinthians 15:17.
I’ll finish this with some verses alluding to eye witness testimony of Christ.
This is just scratching the surface. I suggest reading Luke’s gospel as well as the book of Acts. Jesus’ ministry was public. There were literally thousands of eye witnesses to things He said and did before and after His execution. The miracles done in His name post resurrection were public. This did not happen in a vaccuum!
In part one of this series of entries about why I trust the authority of scripture, I explained how important wisdom is. God doesn’t want us to be uninformed about the legitimacy of His claims, who He is or the implications all that has for our lives. This time, my goal is to show you why I trust that what we have is what God intended us to have.
The Bible is reliable. It has not changed. It has not been tampered with. We could just go to Matthew 24:35 and stop there, but we can go beyond that and check out the claim. To cut to the chase, we can go to the Dead Sea Scrolls. Their discovery put to rest all of the unfounded conspiracies about what was originally documented in comparison to what we have in our bibles today. This brief video sums up what you need to know.
There’s a lot to be said about translation techniques and why there are different “versions” of the bible. At the end of this article, I’ll link some more indepth information about that for you budding scholars to dig into at your own leisure. There are answers to your questions. Remember: knowledge is important to God! He wants you to know that you can trust His word. For now, we’re going to touch base on another issue concerning reliability: archaeology.
There have been thousands of digs concerning claims that have been made in the bible. Not just a couple thousand (as impressive as that is in and of itself), but over 25,000! These excavations have confirmed the existence of biblical figures and places thought to have been lost to time or to have never existed in the first place. Talk about your extensive corroboration! For the sake of brevity, I’ll list just a few figures and places we’ve found relics of.
There’s an extensive list of things confirmed and corroborated through these digs that I will also reference to at the end of this article. For now, I just want you to understand that yes, these figures and places in the bible are indeed historical and not allegorical. There are even speculations about the site of the famous sister cities, Sodom and Gomorrah. They come complete with evidence of going up in a blaze of heat exceeding 2000 degrees.
The arguments that (insert biblical figure here) never existed, especially Jesus, are unfounded, ignorant and downright willful stupidity. We have way too much evidence to the contrary for such a lazy and unsubstantiated claim. Right in the face of all these artifacts that have been found, examined and dated, there are still people foolish enough to simply say it was made up. This brings us back to one of the points of the first article. It’s not about what’s going on in the head, it’s the heart. I digress.
The last point of this entry is a vital one. There is unity within the diversity within scripture. The holy book was written by 40 men of different stature (from priests, to prophets to kings) in three different languages (Hebrew, Greek, Aramaic) over the course of roughly 1,500 years that tell one cohesive story from beginning to end. There’s nothing else of antiquity or otherwise that can not only begin to make the lofty claims the bible does, but scratch the surface of such a grandiose and unique composition.
TL;DR: The bible is a reliable collection of historical documents. We have verified many people, places and events through archaeology. There have been digs in the thousands that have not disproved but proved the claims of God. The text has not been tampered with or changed. The text we see today is the same text Jews were reading thousands of years ago. It was the same text Jesus read during his earthly tenure. This sacred text of many books written by many men separated by space, time and language tell ONE story that all begins and ends with Christ.
This is a graphical representation of the Bible’s cross-references. The bar graph along the bottom represents all of the chapters in the Bible, with number of verses represented by length. Books alternate in color. Each of the Bible’s 63,779 cross references is represented by an arc. The color of the arc reflects the distance between the two chapters. This puts to shame the grotesquely ignorant claim that the bible was just “made up”.
I guess all the people that just “made everything up” somehow duped thousands upon thousands of eye witnesses and did some time traveling to get corroboration from people separated by time, class, occupation and geography.
Biblical Archaeology (Website)
10 Archaeology Discoveries (Video)
40 Archaeology Discoveries (Video)
Jesus and The Dead Sea Scrolls (Lecture)
How Can We Be Sure We Got the Right Books? (Short Video)
The Inspiration, Canonization and Transmission of Scripture (Lecture)
Notice: All of the answers you’re looking for are in the bible. I, a pastor, or any well educated theologian can tell you all about what we believe, why we believe it, and what we know about history that corroborates with it, but you have to know Jesus and place your faith in Him as the mediator of your sins to be saved (see Romans 10:9-10). The question isn’t if you know or don’t know. The question is if you will serve Him or the god of your own devices.
The pharisees, that is, the church elders of Jesus’ time, knew the scriptures so well that they could recite them verbatim. Even so, they did not recognize that those sacred texts were talking about Him (see John 5:39-47). Frankly put, their knowledge did not save them. What you know will NOT give you good standing with God. This is about your heart.
This is my meager attempt to provide a very basic and introductory level of Christian apologetics. Many men more brilliant, educated, articulate, and respected have undertaken this venture before me. I’ll be directing you to their books, lectures, and debates to get a more indepth look into the answers I’m going to attempt to explain. Some of this material is available for free and I’ll provide those links whenever I can. Some of it will cost something, but I’ll stick to referring to relatively cheap or free resources as they come to mind.
Providing a good apologetic, a defense of the faith, is something some Christians struggle with. Some may not know why they believe what they believe. Some may know why they believe what they do, but aren’t able to clearly articulate it. This can be frustrating for the skeptic that is genuinely curious. This is important to God as well (See 1 Peter 3:15). Knowing what you believe, why you believe it, and properly expressing your faith isn’t just a useful conversation starter. It’s a command from God.
What you know may not redeem your soul, but knowledge is still important. When questioned about the greatest commandment, Jesus addresses this (see Matthew 22:34-40). God wants you to love Him with your mind. A Christian that’s failing to do this is in sin. You may have been lead to believe that you have to turn your brain off to believe, but it’s demonstrably false. The bible is a very intellectually rigorous text that contains some of the thoughts, feelings, and motives of God. We are limited in our capacity to fully understand God (see Deuteronomy 29:29), but He has given us the capacity to understand what we need to know about Him in order to be saved and properly honor Him.
If you are serious about gaining knowledge, even wisdom, you should pray for it before reading scripture (see James 1:5). If you humble yourself and truly seek to know Him, God will give you all the wisdom you need (see Jeremiah 29:13). If it’s still not abundantly clear that using your head is an act of worship, there are plenty of other verses that reveal that it is so (see Job 12:12 / Psalm 37:30 / Proverbs 3:7 / Proverbs 4:6-7 / Proverbs 13:1 / Ecclesiastes 2:26 / 1 Corinthians 1:25 / Colossians 2:2-3 / James 3:17 / 1 Corinthians 1:30 / Proverbs 29:11 / Proverbs 14:1 / Proverbs 15:12 / Proverbs 19:20). These verses are all snapshots of what God has to say about wisdom. To gain a more robust understanding, I’d suggest reading all of the chapters of Proverbs and Ecclesiastes in the Old Testament and James in the New Testament.
The verse I want to emphasize the most is Proverbs 1:7. It’s the verse I look at as the knowledge lynchpin. If Christ be true, any supposed wisdom that does not flow out of Him is a lie. If Christ’s claims be true, there are implications for justice, sexuality, marriage, divorce, politics, fashion and every other facet of life. He claims to be King of Kings and Lord of All. Those are lofty claims we are not to take lightly. We are even warned that we should consider what we may have to give up should we decide to follow Him (Luke 14:25-33 / Matthew 8:18-22 / John 6:59-65 / Luke 9:57-62).
This is just the first of many posts concerning this, but I’m going to end at this for now. There are many verses to read and consider that I’ve shared with you so far. Though I am eager to share more information, I want these posts to be easily digestible. I’ll also have to do my best to not spoonfeed too much information to people that are not genuinely interested in engaging the Christian belief system and how we arrive at the conclusions we’ve made concerning God and Christ.
Voddie Baucham – Why I Believe the Bible (YouTube)
Since I’ve begun my foray into examining and critiquing modern Church practices and settings in hopes to find what the Church really should look like, I have found that from the moment I began I have been met with a whole bunch of seemingly unnecessary defensiveness from other believers. The walls get thrown up almost immediately.
Interestingly, these walls, more often than not, are thrown up by those who belong to what we would consider large or mega-church churches.
This isn’t to say I haven’t seen any of the same responses from folks who belong to smaller church gatherings, I have. But it just seems to come largely from those in the larger church gatherings.
The statements usually look something like:
“Well how do you expect us to pay our pastors and maintain all of our ministries if we were to do away with a lot of what you are talking about?”
“You seem to have an issue with large churches.”
“If I didn’t know better, I would say you’re just jealous that these churches are growing while yours is not. So your critiques are clearly jealousy driven.”
“Well, what is your church doing to reach your community? Ours has thousands at all of our events. Can you say the same?”
“You’re just being impractical. The things you’re suggesting just won’t work in America.”
“Consumerism isn’t bad. After all, Paul said we ought to become all things to all people so that we might reach some.”
There is a great deal more that could be said…but that’s just a small sampling of the things I’ve been told.
There is a great misconception I want to address regarding Consumer Christianity. And that misconception is that when folks, like myself, critique Consumer Christianity that we are taking beef with the size of a church.
This couldn’t be farther from the truth. The Church of Jerusalem grew over 3,000 people in a single day (read Acts 2). Size isn’t the issue. So clearly having a large church isn’t the issue.
The reality is, Consumer Christianity is a sickness that infects the largest and smallest of church bodies.
Think of it this way…
If I was to critique the flu and whether or not people ought to get the flu shot and people suddenly start screaming “What…do you just not care about children?”, as if children were the only human bodies impacted by the flu or flu shot, they would be missing the actual point.
Every human, no matter their size, is potentially impacted by the flu virus and the if they get the flu shot…the shot as well.
So my critique is specific to the impacts of the flu and the flu shot which is not bound to the size of a human body.
Likewise, Consumer Christianity is not bound to a specific church size or setting. It is something that can impact large Churches, small churches, mega-churches, home churches, and so on.
So the defense to what some assume I am thinking about the size of their church is entirely unfounded and not based on the facts being presented.
Now…there is one caveat I will make and that is this: Some Church models (not sizes) tend to reveal the Consumer Christianity epidemic much more readily than others.
For instance, if your Church model largely focuses on the Sunday Morning gathering, and your gathering largely focuses on a worship leader leading music and a pastor preaching a sermon while the rest of the body comes and “gets” served without the expectation of serving themselves…and there really aren’t any other opportunities throughout the week where people are able to put into practice their spiritual gifts together, and to truly serve one another and their community…then it becomes extremely obvious that Consumerism is what feeds that body.
Again, I’m not against large church gatherings, but too many churches have made the Sunday morning gathering the sole focus of all that they do. They may have various things happening throughout the week, but generally those things tend to be smaller versions of what they do on Sundays, which is, promoting and allowing a small handful of the body to practice their gifts while the rest merely sit and watch.
There may be a type of growing happening…numerically…but spiritually they are all but dead.
If you feed your body a whole bunch of junk food, carb heavy foods, deep fried buffets, and sweets galore–in addition you spend most of your time in front of the TV or behind a computer with very little if any activity in your life…you may indeed be growing in a way and enjoying yourself…but you’re not growing into a healthy body…you’re growing into an obese body.
Where as, if you were to feed your body a well balanced healthy diet, become active, spending less time on Netflix binges and computer games…you will find that your body is growing, albeit a smaller, leaner, healthier body.
When you compare the obese body to the healthy body specifically by appearance it could be argued that the obese body is certainly growing while the healthy body seems to be shrinking.
But, in reality, the obese body is killing itself by loading up on unhealthy foods and practices making it fat and overweight while the healthy body is becoming a slim, trim, fighting force to be reckoned with.
Likewise, we have a bunch of churches who are getting obese on shallow programs, rock concerts with light shows, facility expansions, mass emotional manipulation, junk food messages with little spiritual nutrition, with only a small handful of people actively serving while the rest sit around like couch potatoes watching the “active ones” do their thing and getting served their buffet meals on a silver plater.
Few churches are truly chasing after a healthy Church lifestyle because it usually means cutting out the stuff everyone craves (entertainment and getting served), which usually results in a leaner congregation which doesn’t fit the typical narrative of a successful church.
I’m currently pursuing a healthier lifestyle personally. I recently began the Keto diet which has forced me to cut out a LOT of the things I love…bread, sugary foods, and yes…even most fruits. As such I have had to replace it with heartier things like full fat foods, cheeses, meats, low carb vegetables and fruits, etc.
It is really hard, I will admit, but I’ve been on it a single week and have already lost 10 pounds!
If the American Church expects to truly have a healthy impact not only with its members, but also in its community, then it is going to take a Keto level approach.
What does this mean?
It means getting rid of the unhealthy fluffy stuff.
It means cutting back on the unhealthy things that everyone is attracted to and start focusing on the things that are actually healthy for the church body.
It means replacing the pitiful spiritual diet most are being fed with a spiritually rich healthy diet complete with meat and all the trimmings.
It means being willing to reject the entertainment based church model in favor of a more simple New Testament style church model.
It isn’t going to be easy.
You will likely lose lots of members.
But the people you will likely lose will be the ones who are simply there to sap the energy from the Church body to feed themselves on your work while doing nothing themselves.
Your numbers will shrink.
The body will begin to look smaller.
But don’t lose heart. Just like the human body that is on a healthy diet, you may experience some loss at the forefront, but what you gain will be far healthier spiritually and longer lasting than any of the fluff you had been feeding yourself up to this point.
Sometimes, I scroll through my timeline and wonder if a lot of people have any original thoughts of their own. The NPC meme sums them up in a tragicallty comical way. They have preset phrases they use to engage most issues and do not respond – AT ALL – to new information. The absolute WORST are the people that cry victim when they come TO ME and engage ME on MY PAGE and then assert that I’m “forcing my beliefs on them” because they don’t understand how to operate outside of presets put in place by not even half thought out and completely brain dead memes. It’s just SAD.
To borrow from Ben Shapiro, “facts don’t care about feelings”.
Honestly, I’d just encourage anyone that’s interested in truth to not engage the following people:
Honestly, engaging the pro-murder camp is the absolute WORST about this. They use arguments that have been put to rest over a decade ago as if they’re saying something profound. Guess what, guys? “My body, my choice” was refuted A LONG TIME AGO. Stop gorging on the memes and actually listen to someone engage this on a scholastic scale. Learn how to properly address someone’s stance instead of making a caricature out of what you THINK they believe.
You almost have to draw up a flow chart to help people understand what logical conclusions are. This might be one of those things where people naturally create an escape to evade cognitive dissonance (as that is a very uncomfortable experience). One particular engagement I had just today I gave up on because things were taken way out of the intended context when there were obvious context clues present. That person was not interested in engaging ideas – only talking about “feelings”. That is so frustrating and fruitless. It’s without a cause to continue on with a conversation when it reaches that point, so I bowed out.
Don’t argue with fools, y’all. Some of these people want to argue just so they can talk about their emotions. Check your temperment. Let them have the last word. Just bow out. There’s no shame in that. Or, you could ignore them completely. I’ve had some obnoxious people do me the favor of unfriending me because I refused to engage their nonsense. No matter what they did to provoke a response, I would say nothing. Eventually, they left and my posts, which do provoke and irritate, got a lot more civil.
Be wise in who you engage and don’t engage, Christian. Don’t be afraid to trim the fat. To borrow from someone else I respect, being on YOUR page is privilege = not a right. Personally, I’m learning to accept more and more that the Word of God is indeed a dividing sword. People that I have bonded with for a decade or more have decided to move on and that’s okay. God is providing all the community I need. Even if He didn’t do that for me, His Word would STILL be true.
Feelings are important, ya’ll. I’m not denying that. The bottom line is truth doesn’t change because of feelings. It doesn’t matter if your feelings are hurt because you’re wrong. Get over it. Feelings come and go. Ordered properly, feelings change when truth is revealed. The truth will always be the truth no matter how much our feelings change.
It is a song that challenges the notion that worship may, in fact, be more than a song or music. He challenges what are actually idols in our lives, and frankly, it’s a serious gut punch for anyone who truly hears the words…especially those like me who have served for years as the “worship leader”.
Want to talk about a song that hits you right in the kisser?
This song will do that! Check out a sample of the lyrics:
VERSE 1: Clear the stage and set the sound and lights ablaze
If that’s the measure you must take to crush the idols
Jerk the pews and all the decorations too
Until the congregations few then have revival
Tell your friends that this is where the party ends
Until you’re broken for y our sins you can’t be social
Then seek the Lord and wait for what He has in store
And know that great is your reward so just be hopeful
CHORUS: ‘Cause you can sing all you want to
Yes, you can sing all you want to
You can sing all you want to and still get it wrong
Oh worship is more than a song
Tell me something…when someone asks you about “worship”, where does your mind go first? If you are anything like me, it usually goes to music.
Biblically speaking, there’s certainly an aspect of worship that is musical.
But is this really where “worship” ends?
Simply put…no…this is not where worship ends…or even begins.
I’ll be honest, it’s not entirely our fault. I know many of us have read the Bible, and we mean no harm in our thinking, but we are missing a large portion of the picture as it relates to worship.
Unfortunately, if we are truly honest with ourselves, the Church at large has done a great deal to perpetuate the assumption that worship is simply music. After all, when we talk about our Sunday gatherings we usually refer to the singing/music part as “worship” and then everything else is just part of the regular grind of Sunday gatherings…ya know…prayer, teaching, preaching, tithes/offerings, etc.
Shoot…we’ve created a whole genre of music called “Praise and Worship” music, which continues to perpetuate this thinking. Unintentionally. I realize that.
Hear me when I say this, no one intended harm by isolating worship to music. I don’t think anyone was out there thinking of ways to confuse the subject of worship for the masses.
I also love the Church…after all, she is the Bride of Christ. And if I love Christ, I must also love His Bride…because I am part of that Bride.
But we need to be clear here…and clear the air a little, just because no harm was intended, doesn’t mean that no harm was done.
I, like many of you, realize the potency of music. When we hear a certain song our minds go to certain places. Perhaps you hear a song that you danced to with your wife (or husband) back when you had your first date. Perhaps you hear a song that was playing the night your first girlfriend or boyfriend broke up with you. Perhaps you hear a song that was the favorite song of someone you deeply loved who has since passed away.
All sorts of emotions and memories get triggered through music.
I am also of the mind that due to the repetition of music, and the very nature of what it does as a stimulus to our brains, that music is also a form of teaching that can take place. How many of us can hear the music to a song we love, and easily recall the lyrics almost without hesitation? I know I can! I used to challenge myself when I was younger to try and spit out the lyrics of a line of a song before the singer got it out just to see if I remembered it correctly. I was often right.
I say all of this to simply acknowledge the power of music. It is indeed powerful. And God created it. There is music in heaven. Of that I am sure. God is a creative, and He takes great joy in creativity expressed by His creation.
So my issue here isn’t with worship music in and of itself.
My issue is that many of us seem to think that worship is only music and very little else. And this is dangerous thinking because we lose sight of so much more to the Christian life and worship because we are seeing but a pin hole view of worship.
In the book of Romans, chapter 12 to be exact, Paul gives us a brief and summarized example of what worship is. Here is what he said in verse 1:
I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.
My take away from this is verse is simply this:
Our LIVES and how we live them is an act of worship.
In short, everything we say and do that glorifies God is an act of worship.
Consider something that Jesus said back in Matthew 25 concerning the moment we stand before the throne of judgement:
34 Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, 36 I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’
37 Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? 38 And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you?39 And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’
40 And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers,[f you did it to me.’
Did you see that?
Verse 40 especially?
Whatever we say and do to others…we do it to God.
Not only should this strike some fear in us about how we speak to and treat one another…but it should reveal to and affirm for us what I was saying about Paul’s words in Romans 12 about our lives being a living sacrifice and how we live being our spiritual act of worship.
So yes…I think it is safe to conclude that worship is more than a song. We can sing all the songs in the world that honor God, but still not honor Him with our lives…and in the end not actually worship Him at all.
Yes, worship Him in song, but worship Him even more so with your life.
On January 20th, 2013, my life changed drastically in an instant. In the span of maybe an hour, I went from looking for trouble at the bar to being distraught at the realization that I was at the mercy of a God I didn’t know. All that is a story for another day. For now, I’ll just share that today is my spiritual birthday. For people that actually know me, that might sound like a strange proclamation.
I was the spiritual guy of the bunch before then, right? I went to church, didn’t do drugs, tried to do the right thing and etc, right? Some people were there in 2007 when I got a tattoo of Jesus on my left arm. They’d tell you I’ve been a Christian as long as they’ve known me. Back then, I’d have agreed with them. I was just as wrong about me as they were back then.
It may have seemed like I got some of those things from this passage right. Maybe I did. I tried to be mindful of others and generous with the things I had. Lots of bonds were formed from the embrace of total strangers with no direction and no where to go. I’d like to think that many of the exchanges made back then were altruistic in nature. I surely wasn’t getting much, if anything, in return for sacrifices I was making. Yet, those decisions were made for me. I wasn’t really serving God or others, but the identity I was building up for myself.
“Contribute to the needs of the saints”. If you would’ve asked me, I wouldn’t have had a clue what that meant. Yeah, I went to church semi-regularly, but I had no idea what pressing in to deep fellowship really meant. I was involved in trivial surface level stuff with most. There were precious few I made any type of effort to maintain a relationship with outside of a Sunday gathering.
I was given the name “Brotha B”. I believed in God, went to church and loved complete strangers well. That summed up the person I was becoming, and I embraced it. Yet, I was not a Christian. I had no concept of the triune God of the scriptures. I had no idea that there was a price to pay that I couldn’t. I thought highly of the way I carried myself. I wasn’t a thief or murderer. God would forgive me for the petty sins I committed. There was no way I wasn’t getting into His house when all was said and done.
I’m blessed enough to be able to tell you that no, the person you knew back then was not a Christian. My good deeds were not good enough. As a matter of fact, God calls our inherent so-called “righteousness” filthy rags before Him. How could they not be? My intentions were never completely pure. I didn’t thank Him for the blessings I had or communicate with Him at all. I had no prayer life and didn’t read the bible.
How did I know what was written was true? Who was Jesus really? What’s God’s role in our lives? I didn’t have any answers. I didn’t even know what was written in the bible to begin with. I was comfortably blinded by my own ignorance. I was content to suppress the truth of my own sin and think of my better traits as well enough to tip the scales in my favor.
No. This is foolish talk. This is not how a Christian behaves. “The Marks of a True Christian” called my bluff and self deceit and I didn’t know. None of us can legitimately call ourselves Christian unless God calls us first. I was ignorant of even that back then. My life bore no “Fruit of the Spirit“. There was none to harvest. I would not hesitate to confess that there is a God, but I didn’t really serve Him. I was a fool. A fool God decided to rise from dead on this day six years ago.
Examine yourselves, friends. If you think your merit is enough to enter the kingdom, you are not a Christian. If you are not in fellowship and have no desire to be in fellowship, you are not a Christian. If the revelation of God’s holiness doesn’t move you to prayer, you are not a Christian. If you are not moved to worship by God’s long suffering patience and mercy, you are not a Christian. If you are not bothered by sin, any sin no matter how big or small, you are not a Christian. I say these things that are hard to hear because they are to be given a heavy consideration. Judgement and justice are not such a trivial thing that we should take lightly, as I once did (and honestly, I am in much repentence often for continued failings or bearing the marks of a Christian).
Seek Him and find Him. An embellished image of what we would like Him to be like will not be our Judge in the end. It will be Him as He has revealed Himself in the scriptures. If you seek Him with all your heart, you will find Him. If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, you will be saved. Dear friends, don’t be the fool I was. Don’t pay lip service. Confess it with your mouth and mean it in your heart.
Around 1997, a man by the name of Jay Shafer began a now growing and increasingly popular movement known as The Tiny House Movement. The purpose or vision of most who are moving toward the Tiny House movement is really quite simple: simplifying life.
Don’t be fooled by these tiny houses though!
These tiny homes pack a lot of punch in to a fraction of the space most American’s have for their homes. What tiny house enthusiasts have done is effectively de-clutter their lives and their living spaces, and made room for ONLY the essentials, namely: a place to sleep, a place to eat, a place to go to the bathroom, a place to get cleaned up, and a place to stay out of the elements of the weather.
I have read numerous articles about families of more than four people (two adults and two children) living in spaces totaling about 350 square feet, and how they were able to accommodate all of this life’s essentials in that tiny space!
They accomplished this by doing the following:
I have seen countless documentaries on YouTube (here, here, and here to name a few!) where people made this change in their life, simplified it down to the bare necessities, and are thriving in a much healthier and happier way in their life.
And I think the American Church can learn a thing or two from the Tiny House Movement.
If most are honest with themselves in the Church, then none of us are truly caught by surprise at the thought that the American Church has a problem with materialism and consumerism.
We absolutely do!
It’s an American culture thing that has unfortunately invaded the American Church. We have turned houses of worship and prayer into the next get rich scheme, your best life now, come and get served consumer driven corporate Church growth movement.
The materialism is evident from the moment you walk into a Church facility. It is evident on the lips of people when you ask them what they are looking for in a Church. It is evident in the fact that we have Churches closing by the hundreds every month because they can’t afford to keep up with the consumer demands put on them (or that they put on themselves).
We have cluttered the simple message of the gospel and of Church life with sermon series around how to improve your life and marriage, complete with ministries for literally every age group. We’ve built enormous set pieces with lights, glamour, sound systems, fashion shows, music albums, books, video production, fancy gadgets, streaming services, and on and on it goes.
We have created for ourselves marketing teams to research the best way to get the word out about our church so we can fill the pews.
We have created organizations that go out and do research on our behalf so we know what the best trends are in worship music, church growth, preaching, and whatever else we deem necessary to make a church “successful”.
And we’ve done all of this in order to keep feeding the materialistic consumer driven masses who may or may not darken the doors of our Church facilities week in and week out.
We have a problem.
We are addicts.
We are addicted to stuff, busyness, and ourselves.
If you took the time to go to YouTube and see any of those videos of people living in Tiny Homes, or to read articles about the Tiny House Movement, you probably became quickly aware of how others probably thought (or think) or perceived Tiny House people. Especially the ones with larger families.
These people are crazy!
Maybe you thought that (or think that) too. Perhaps you even started to think of all the reasons why this wouldn’t work in your context.
A similar reaction occurs when some Christians begin to challenge the Big Box church idea that has become the norm in most cities across America with the idea that perhaps we have cluttered things up and could stand to do a little purging and perhaps simplifying.
The Biblical reality is, the early Church didn’t clutter their existence with all the consumer trappings we know and love today. Instead, they devoted themselves to four IMPORTANT things (Acts 2:42):
When I have spoken of simplifying Church, and getting back to the core of being the Church we find in the Bible, I am often met with people who want to take this to an extreme as…I don’t know…some sort of defense mechanism in a challenge to how we do things.
They will say things like, “So, I guess we should give up air condition” or “Perhaps we should sell all of our cars and go back to horses again”.
Folks, that’s extreme…the air condition I cannot live without, but horses wouldn’t be so bad.
Seriously though, this is an attempt at intentionally overlooking or trivializing the simplicity that was the early Church in order to ignore the glaring issues we have created for ourselves.
What, then, is the answer?
To answer this question we need to go back to the Tiny House enthusiasts and emulate what they did:
Don’t get me wrong, this will not be an overnight fix. It will take some blood, sweat, and tears to accomplish. But the end product is something that I believe will honor God, free the Church from the consumer traps, and make the Church more effective at being the Church in their communities.
Some reading I’ve done lately that has really helped challenge me in this area of simplification, that I think the entire Church would benefit from, has come from the following two books:
I’m not getting any kickback for promoting these books. They have just really impacted me at such a deep level that I can’t help but point people to these books with the hopes that they too will experience the impact that I did.
These books don’t point to human wisdom, church trends, or personal opinion…but to the Bible itself to inspire the Church in becoming the Church God has always dreamed of.
I highly recommend you pick these books up and give them a read. Not sure you want to spend the money on them? I know I found them at my local library, so may be worth checking out there too.
Imagine, the Queen of England sends word to you that she would like for you to pay her a visit. She would like for you to come to England, sit down in her living room (or whatever that looks like in a palace), just you and her, and she wants to talk to you about you, your life, your concerns, your victories, the people you know and what they may be going through, and so on.
Imagine how awkward it would be if you showed up to speak with her like we do when we show up in prayer and talk to our King…Jesus.
Perhaps you just keep rattling off her name, “Oh Elizabeth, oh Elizabeth, oh Elizabeth…” and never actually said anything but her name (I mean…it’s a nice name…but really?).
Or maybe you precursor every single sentence or phrase you say to her with her name or title. “Queen Elizabeth, the trip here was, Oh Queen Elizabeth, very long and very, Oh Queen, tiring and long.”
Or perhaps you only list off a bunch of requests and then sit staring at her blankly. “Oh Queen, please help me with this, and that, and the other thing.” *stares blankly*
Or what if you just walked in, sat down, and said nothing. You just stared at her, or closed your eyes and muttered under your breath a bunch of unintelligible words, or simply said “I appreciate you inviting me here, I have an unspoken request.” And that was that.
It would feel extremely awkward wouldn’t it?
We would probably go home embarrassed for how we acted in front of her. We would feel like we totally wasted her time, and blew our opportunity to have an audience with the Queen of England. No doubt we would have a desire to have a re-do and not look quite as absurd the next time.
But this is precisely how we look and behave when we pray to our King.
The God of the universe, sent His Son to die in OUR place, so that we might have a relationship with Him and be called the sons and daughters of God.
Church, WE have received a royal invitation to the throne room of God, the Creator of ALL things, to sit and talk with Him. He wants our undivided attention. He wants to connect with us.
Seriously, how many of you talk to your parents like we do God in prayer?
The reality is, prayer is one of the most important disciplines of the Christian walk, yet one of the most overlooked, frequently ignored, or highly misunderstood disciplines of the faith.
We seem to only turn to prayer as a “last resort” when we are face to face with some crisis instead of as a conduit by which we connect with the Almighty Living God daily.
Why is that?
Perhaps it’s because we treat our prayers as simply words released into the air instead of a chance for mere mortals like ourselves to have an audience with the eternal King of the Universe?
I could certainly provide lots of personal opinions on what prayer is and what it looks like, but instead, let us consider what the Bible has to say on the matter of prayer:
Jeremiah 33:3 – Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.
Colossians 4:2 – Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.
1 Timothy 2:8 – I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling…
Matthew 18:19-20 – Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.
Hebrews 4:16 – Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
James 4:3 – You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.
And perhaps the most well known prayer (can you say it from memory?):
Matthew 6:9-13 – Pray then like this: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.”
From just these few examples, I believe there is much richness that can be gleaned about how we ought to pray.
To make it easy, here are 7 aspects of prayer that we can learn from these passages (there is more, so take some time to see what you can pull from these passages on your own!):
There is a great deal to be learned about prayer in just those verses, but those hardly scratch the surface of prayer as the Bible lays it out.
But let me encourage you to not let these verses be your one stop shop for prayer. Instead, let them inspire you to dig deeper in to the riches of God’s word for what He has given to us. Never stop learning, and never stop praying.
If the Church would begin to master the discipline of prayer, we will find this to be one of the greatest tools to help us successfully walk this Christian life.
Let me leave you with this prayer that Jesus prayed literally for you:
John 17:20-23 – I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word (That’s you and me!), that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know you sent me and loved them even as you loved me.
One of the most recognized charactersitics of God is His alignment with Love. That is His defining trait. God is Love. That’s comforting, isn’t it? God is Love. God is good. God is forgiving. God is merciful. God is generous. God restores. Yes and amen, God is all of those things and more. But, God is something that people don’t like to talk about. God is a conquerer. God is the King of Kings. God is justice, and that’s BAD news for some of us because God HATES evil. That’s bad news for some of us. We need to take the wrath of God seriously.
I’m going to level with you. A lot of you have only heard half of the truth. That half truth, that outright lie rather is this: God hates the sin, not the sinner. You’d be hard pressed to find biblical support for such a claim. What the bible actually says about God’s feelings about sin is much different. I’ll rattle off a few for you to check out for yourself.
Those are just a selection, dear reader. If you are one of the people described in one of those verses, please stop taking patience of God for granted. You are sitting under the angry judgement of a just and loving God. Because God is Love and God is just, it’s in His very nature to HATE evil. Yes, God HATES some people. If you check the cited verses, one of them is even called by name!
Dear believer, if you’re one of those people that think you will never meet someone that God hates, it’s time to wake up from your fairy tale. It’s time to realize that people you love that refuse to bow the knee to the king are taunting The Lion of Judah and His patience will not last forever. Every knee is going to bow whether it be by humble admission for the need of a savior or by the crushing fear of the power of the One who can destroy the soul. That, my friends and family, is terrifying… for some of us.
Think about this rationally. If God doesn’t hate anyone, why did he drown every last human on the planet, sans a single family? If God doesn’t hate anyone, why was the couple that withheld from the early church, from God ultimately, struck dead in an instant? On and on and on it goes. From the early makings of the nation of Israel, many of whom didn’t get to see the promised land, on down to those that favored Barrabas over Jesus. All those people died brutal deaths at the hands of a very angry God.
Furthermore, I can demonstrate to you that I didn’t need to convince you of this. You already knew that God hates some people before you read any of those verses or anything I had to say about them. No one had to tell you that God does not love Adolf Hitler. No one had to tell you that God does not love Joseph Stalin. No one had to tell you that God does not love Judas. That list can go on for a while as well.
If that wasn’t enough to shift your attitude towards the urgency of this, consider the warning from Jesus In Mark 3:28-30. All of the people that fit that description will succumb to the wrath of The Lion of Judah. Every single one of them. This leaves us with some very important things to consider no matter if we currently submit to Christ or not.
If you do not bow the knee to His authority, He’s going to crush you. That’s not an idle threat. That is a promise. As much as you would protect your home and land from those that do not follow or respect your governing authority, how much more do you think God will when He fully enstates his earthly throne? If you seek Him, you WILL find Him. It’s never too late in this life, but another day in this life is never promised. If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, you’ll be saved.
Believers, stop spreading this nonsense among your unbelieving friends. You are not helping them. They’re banking on the fact that God loves them, when He in fact does NOT. You’re talking to people that think they’re good in and of themselves and that they deserve grace. None of us are righteous. None of us deserve mercy. God is not obligated to accept any of us. Stop encouraging people with bumper sticker feel good fluffiness and tell people the truth. Those people that you look in the eye that shake their first at God are potentially people that will never know the love of God and will suffer angry judgement.
You can help them by telling them the truth. You can help them by preaching the gospel and forgiveness of sins. You can help them by telling them the truth about the wrath of God. You will not help them if you continue to tell them that God still loves them despite all the sin they gleefully commit. Jesus, God in the flesh, was murdered to pay the price for these sins. He shed actual blood and his actual flesh was torn apart. That was when He came as the sacrificial lamb.
Next time, he’s coming as the ruler. There will be no room for rebellion then.
It was announced back at the end of October that the church I had been serving on staff at would close it’s doors on December 30, 2018. And so it did.
This, of course, left my family wondering what we were going to do in this next season of life. Would we find another church? Would we wander a little and try several churches out? Would we travel and visit people we haven’t seen in forever and attend their churches?
We just didn’t really know.
Friday night, I went to a friends house for a gathering of believers that we have been gathering with off and on since our college years. This group of friends has become more of a family. They have been a part of so much of our lives, and are a constant support. They truly represent the beauty of the Church, and for that I am thankful.
My friend, Richard, I have known and served in ministry along side of, since 2002. A 17 year brotherhood. And that night we spoke of the struggles I have been through these last 7.5 years and especially the last 2.
He encouraged me and prayed with me. We spoke of what my family was going to do next. And how we didn’t know what we were going to do. And he encouraged me to take some time to detox with my family, and seek God’s direction.
After leaving there that night, I had a long ride home, which is usually where I do most of my thinking and praying. And God put it on my heart to establish my family as the Church. (Not that it will stop with them, but rather start with them.)
So today, my family decided to take a step and conduct a Church gathering in our home with our family alone. There were 6 of us gathered around the table.
Our gathering included:
The morning started out with me heading to the grocery store to gather the ingredients to make some home made sausage, egg, and cheese biscuits.
As I drove, I began to ponder and actually get excited about this gathering. I haven’t felt excited about “Church” in a long time. Mostly just frustrated and hurt.
But today was different. I was looking forward to this day.
I wandered the aisles at the grocery store, considering what my family would enjoy most for a late breakfast/early lunch. Gathered them into my basket, made for the checkout, and then headed home.
I intentionally drove by several church facilities on my home. I prayed for them as I drove by.
Once I got home, the family got to work serving one another through cleaning up the kitchen together and preparing the table. I prepared the meal.
My oldest son set the table, and when the food was ready we all sat down, blessed the meal, and then we took part in a meal together.
After we ate, I pulled out the Bible, and we began a discussion on what the early Church looked like. I began with the ascension of Jesus, talked through the upper room and Pentecost, continued into Peters first street sermon, and finished with the early church forming and gathering in Acts 2:42, which says:
And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers.
I broke down what the early church devoted themselves to:
One of the questions I asked to my family was, what is fellowship?
My kids almost in unison said, “It is when you welcome guests at the church during worship, and shaking hands…”
My heart sank…
I have been in the formal ministry setting for over 16 years, and my children have been in the church their entire lives, and their concept of fellowship was that time between worship and the message where we shake hands and say hello to one another.
I am ashamed to admit that I have failed my children to some degree.
But, it got me thinking…how much of the Church truly understands what fellowship is as it relates to the church? How many people honestly believe it is that time between song and word where we shake hands and say hello?
As I examine the Church Body across America, I would dare say a great many do not understand it. Perhaps I haven’t truly understood it either. Perhaps the way we have “designed church” has perpetuated this mindset. Perhaps not.
Whatever it was, I wanted to make sure my family began to truly understand what biblical fellowship looked like.
So, I took out the Noah Webster 1828 Dictionary, and looked up the word “Fellowship” and here is the definition that I found:
Companionship; society; consort; mutual association of persons on equal and friendly terms; familiar intercourse. (Have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness. Ephesians 5) Men are made for society and mutual fellowship.
Association; confederacy; combination.
Partnership; joint interest; as fellowship in pain.
Company; a state of being together.
Communion; intimate familiarity. 1 John 1.
Thank you, Noah Webster!
As we read the definition, I watched my kids light bulbs coming on. As we discussed what fellowship was, and gave examples from our own life, they began to nod in understanding.
This, friends…is fellowship. What Noah Webster described is what the Church OUGHT to be doing. Look at the passages he posted (Eph. 5 and 1 John 1) and see what the Bible says is fellowship. Look at Acts 2:42-47 and see what the early Church was doing “in fellowship” and ask yourself, does the modern Church look anything like this? Is this something we can see again?
I think the answer is sadly, no, this is not what the modern Church exemplifies, but yes, we can see this again.
The reality is, fellowship is the Church doing LIFE together.
Too many churches exist where people can come and hide and not connect. There is not accountability, or follow up, or follow through. You just walk in, sit through an hour of music and a good speech, and then go home unchanged.
But the early Church walked out life together. And it happened every day of the week, not just during a one hour feel good meeting on a Sunday morning.
I know the excuses that will follow:
But these are excuses that view the Church gathering as a burden, rather than a blessing. But the gathering of the Church…when it is doing life together…when we truly FELLOWSHIP with one another…changes from a burden to a blessing. It becomes something we long to be around and engage in.
And this is exactly what God had in mind for His Bride.
So while I still feel somewhat ashamed that I have not done a good job of teaching my children the true meaning of biblical fellowship, I am honored and excited that I have an opportunity to correct that.
And while I correct it in my own home, I encourage you to do the same in your home…and in your local church gathering.
The Bible has a lot to say about it, and gives us a good number of pictures for what fellowship looks like…lets seek to emulate the early Church and God’s plan for the Church rather than emulate what the culture around us thinks the Church ought to look like.
Have you ever seen those commercials or read the inserts on some prescriptions that seem to describe side-effects that far exceed the issue it is supposedly treating?
You know, crazy things like, “This drug treating a mild cough could cause internal bleeding, the breakdown of the intestinal walls, or cause cancer.” And you’re like “Look, I just want to stop coughing!”
That’s how I feel about the “Seeker Sensitive” Church movement.
It has been (and continues to be) purported as providing the cure for church growth woes and reaching the lost, but instead it has produced some of the worst and possibly some of the longest lasting side-effects the Church has seen in a very long time as it relates to the purpose and function of the Church. After all, this movement has been in play since the 1970’s (going on 40+ years now).
…the seeker sensitive church tries to reach out to the unsaved person by making the church experience as comfortable, inviting, and non-threatening to him as possible. The hope is that the person will believe in the gospel. The idea behind the concept is to get as many unsaved people through the door as possible, and the church leadership are willing to use nearly any means to accomplish that goal.https://www.gotquestions.org/seeker-sensitive-church.html
While I believe the intentions of the Seeker Sensitive Church Movement were admirable, they fell way short of creating an atmosphere that could produce a Church body that was truly healthy, growing, and impactful in its community in the way that God intended the Church to be.
The gathering of the Church body was NEVER intended to be an evangelistic tool at its core. You won’t find that purpose in the Bible. You won’t find early church accounts documenting this goal. It’s simply not biblical.
This isn’t to say that unbelievers may not find their way to our gatherings. Or that unbelievers may not become believers through attending the gathering. If they do show up, the Bible gives us some insight on how to handle that.
They should be welcomed.
They should be hospitably treated.
But, you won’t find anywhere in the Bible that tells us to compromise or hide who we are as believers. In fact, it says quite the opposite.
Take 1 Corinthians 14:24-25 for example:
24 But if all prophesy, and an unbeliever or outsider enters, he is convicted by all, he is called to account by all, 25 the secrets of his heart are disclosed, and so, falling on his face, he will worship God and declare that God is really among you.https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Corinthians+14%3A24-25&version=ESV
Likewise, your pastor or the leaders of your church should not be held responsible for leading your friends, family, co-workers, neighbors, and anyone else connected to you to the Lord.
That’s actually YOUR responsibility. You’ll see why shortly.
As a result, the Seeker Sensitive Church Movement has produced some pretty terrible and unfortunate side effects, including, but certainly not limited to:
If you, or anyone you know in the Seeker Sensitive Church Model, is experiencing any of these side effects, stop what you are doing and seek a better Church model. Preferably one in the Bible.
What, then, is the Church gathering actually for if not to act as an evangelistic tool to reach the lost? And what is the role of the pastor and other church leaders?
I am so glad you asked! No really, this is a great question!
The Bible, once again, tells us exactly what the Church gathering is for and what purpose the pastor and church leaders serve.
1 Corinthians 14:26-33 says (concerning the church gathering):
26 What then, brothers? When you come together, each one has a hymn, a lesson, a revelation, a tongue, or an interpretation. Let all things be done for building up. 27 If any speak in a tongue, let there be only two or at most three, and each in turn, and let someone interpret. 28 But if there is no one to interpret, let each of them keep silent in church and speak to himself and to God. 29 Let two or three prophets speak, and let the others weigh what is said. 30 If a revelation is made to another sitting there, let the first be silent. 31 For you can all prophesy one by one, so that all may learn and all be encouraged, 32 and the spirits of prophets are subject to prophets. 33 For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Corinthians+14%3A26-33&version=ESV
See, also, Acts 2:42…
And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers.https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=acts+2%3A42&version=ESV
You see, the gathering of the Church exists for the building up, equipping, and encouragement of the Church body. It is intended to be a gathering where the BELIEVER fellowships with other BELIEVERS, spends time in learning the tenants of the faith and how to live out the faith, and to pray with other BELIEVERS.
If an unbeliever happens to come to Christ through this, BONUS!
And how does this all happen? According to Ephesians 4:11-16, through your pastor and other church leaders as intended by God:
11 And he (being God) gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds (also read “pastors”) and teachers, 12 to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, 13 until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, 14 so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. 15 Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ,16 from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=ephesians+4%3A11-16&version=ESV
Through these people that God has put in place FOR the Church, we are able to attain unity of faith, knowledge of Jesus, maturity, and a steadfastness in our faith so that we are not taken away by the deceit of others.
In fact, according to Ephesians 4, when we operate this way (the way God intended) then we are functioning properly, and it is through this that the Church body grows and builds itself up in love.
Notice that this is not accomplished through fog machines, flashy lights, big and loud praise teams with a comprehensive album release schedule, buff pastors with fashion sense, cool children’s ministries (complete with snack time), the greatest greeting team EVER, fancy buildings, water bottles with your Church logo on it, or whatever else your church is using to attract unbelievers to your gatherings.
The gathering of the Church body was ALWAYS intended to be a place of equipment and encouragement for BELIEVERS to go and do the work of the ministry in their homes, jobs, families, neighborhoods, and other areas of their life.
It is past time to drop this potent and lethal drug called the “Seeker Sensitive Church Movement” with all its ugly side effects, and get back to a more holistic and biblical approach to being the Church.
It is time to get the Western/American Church off the spiritual “nipple” and move on to the meatier things they were designed for.
Don’t you think?
Being “salt and light” (Matthew 5: 13-16) in a dark world is not easy. There are so many issues that need light brought to them. It’s hard to listen to the still small voice to find what path to be that light on.
PLANTING OF THE SEED
I couldn’t tell you when foster care fell on my heart but I could probably guess when the seed was planted. There was a group of girls that took a trip to Pennsylvania when I was a teenager. One of our missions was we were helping some nuns in a foster care house. I talked to one of the boys there (I think he was 8 or 9) that was removed from his mom. He opened up to me and was confused on some aspects of why he was there. I tried to explain to him the best I could at that age what was going on. I fell in love with that place. I asked one of the nuns what I would have to major in to work there and she told me “Emotionally Impaired” because it was a house for wards of the court. Hence, I went to school for that. (The funny thing is I never did work there.)
Also, around that same time frame, I got a message to “gather my lost sheep”. Yup, it confused me. I didn’t know what the heck THAT meant. I just assumed that it tied into teaching. I’ve always wanted to be a teacher. I remember playing school in our basement with my sisters and I taught them what I know. (That’s why they are super smart).
NOW, it is all coming together. God’s timing is not our timing that is for sure. NOW, I realize, all my schooling and years of teaching were just preparation to be a foster parents.
It is no secret that my husband and I are Pro-Life. I had a friend ask me what we were doing to support females that decide not to have an abortion and not just preach to them. At that time, we were trying to gather our paperwork and meet fire code in SC which I told her. She said “At least you are trying to walk the walk and not just talk the talk.” That made me stop and think. How many times as Christians do we just preach and there is no action behind it? Jesus surely didn’t do that. He loved the unlovable and healed those that may or may not have deserved it. He prayed for his enemies and forgave those who did not deserve it all while he hanged, broken and tortured, on a cross.
Sure, we could have donated money to an organization that houses foster or abandon kids but kids need love, wisdom and support to develop into decent human beings. Now don’t get me wrong, people that work in those types of housing situations are good people but I’m sure they are spread quite thin. I tip my hat to them!
Anyway, my point is there are some issues that you cannot just throw money at it. You actually have to take action.
I’M GETTING TO MY POINT I SWEAR!!
According to the Hartford Institute for Religion Research, there is really no official directory of church congregations. It is hard to actually count churches because thousands of churches open each year. They estimate that there are roughly 350,000 religious congregations in the US. They pulled their data from the Religious Congregation Membership Study from 2010 census. (http://hirr.hartsem.edu/research/fastfacts/fast_facts.html)
An article written by Mary Fairchild has that there are 247 million (about 78%) of the US adults identify themselves as Christians. (http://christianity.about.com/od/denominations/p/christiantoday.htm) I did not see when this article was written.
According to the Administration for Children and Families, Administration on Children, Your and Families and Children’s Bureau November 2013, Issue 20 “The AFCARS Report”, on September 30, there were 397,122 children in foster care. Only 108,379 of those children are with relatives. (http://www.acf.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/cb/afcarsreport20.pdf)
This is my point and if my math is correct. If less than 1% of those self-identified Christians took in one kid, we wouldn’t have a foster care issue in the United States.
I realize it is easier said than done. Trust me; it’s crossed my mind and my husbands about our safety and our future kid’s safety. I’ve taught at least one foster care kid that chilled me to the bone. HOWEVER, think about this. How many kids have lost their parents from death, drugs, or stupid behavior but have the potential to be good kids with enough love?
Anyway, I am going to attempt to blog about our journey as much as I can and the law will allow about the process of becoming a foster parent. After seeing those stats, it’s pretty obvious there are plenty of lost sheep to gather. I hope that this will encourage some people, with good hearts to look into fostering a child.
I’m just going to leave these here: James 1:27, Deuteronomy 14:29, Ezekiel 22 (read the whole chapter but really I’m referring to 6-7)
I look back on opportunities I’ve had to speak up and make a difference with utter embarassment sometimes. Why didn’t I say that thing? Why didn’t I do something when I had the chance? How could I be such a coward? Honestly, it makes me sick to my stomache how pathetically weak my faith is sometimes. This is not God’s will for us. God does not give us a spirit of fear.
There are moments of boldness. There are times when I won’t back down. There are times when I say, share, and do things that are distressing to people that don’t believe. Among them are people I love and cherish. For the most part, even if my position isn’t agreed with, my passion is and we agree to disagree. Unfortunately, when these conflicts happen on social media, people are emboldened to say and do things they wouldn’t in a more personal setting.
It’s shameful that relationships that have been heavily invested in can come to and end in such an impersonal way, but it happens. Loved ones have quietly shut me out and moved on. Some make a spectacle of their disagreement and announce publicly that they’re withdrawing their love. Of the two, I’d rather have someone cut me off and keep it movin’. That’s not always the case, unfortunately. As much as I’d like to do whatever possible to hold on to those relationships when the opportunity is there, we’re at an impasse.
I cannot cower in my allegiance to the God that has forgiven and given me so much. I cannot pretend that He is not there and He is the one that I answer to. I’m going to choose Him over any loved one. I have to. Where do I go without Him? Where is there TO go? And so, some have to go. The Lord will do His pruning, and I fully accept that it’s for the greater good, no matter how painful this is.
I share these feelings for my brothers and sisters that have been bold in their witness. It hurts to be lashed out by people you love, but you’re not alone. No, you don’t get to keep all the relationships you’ve invested in, but God will surround you with your true family. God will provide us with our family and our friends. It is God that orders our steps and numbers our days. It is God who truly knows who is in our circle of influence and why. Take heart, dear Christian.
If you have not yet spoken into or engaged in any of the cultural issues facing the world today, know that the world WILL judge you. You WILL be chastised and thought of a fool. You WILL be attacked spiritually, emotionally, and in some cases physically. Count the cost. Be ready to accept the losses that come with faithfulness. Be ready to be slandered and forgotten by people you love deeply. Following Christ comes with a price. It’ll cost you your entire life as you know it.
I have had to repent of my weakness more than I can stand to admit to you. Take heed. Pray. Ask for forgiveness and boldness. Ask to be lead in spirit and truth. Whatever you do, don’t ride the fence. Be bold in what you stand for. Our God will accept nothing less than that.
First, and foremost…HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!
It’s officially 2019. Can you believe it? Where did the time go?
Anyway…Brad here…and I just wanted to let you know that there are some big changes coming to the eagerforTRUTH site!
We are expanding and bringing in new voices!
This is great because, who wants to always read what I have to say, right? There are so many amazing people out there who have a heart for the Church, and who have a heart to see the Church become the Bride Christ wants to come back for.
One of those voices is Brian Baldwin, coming out of Indianapolis, Indiana!
We met a while back through mutual friends on social media, and a friendship began to bud there. Over time we saw that we had a similar heart, similar passions, and a desire to spur the Church on to be all She can be. He is a true brother and friend, and I’m excited to have him on board to be one of the writers for eagerforTRUTH.
Brian also has a Facebook page he manages called, Be The Change. Please be sure to head over there and subscribe and see what awesome things he’s already done in the way of creating Christian media and content, and also to keep up with the things we are doing here.
Here’s to an exciting new year, new vision, new…well…everything!
I currently serve in a charismatic Church that is fully open to the concept of the supernatural. But I haven’t always been in such environments.
In fact, I spent the first almost 30 years of my 36 years of life on this planet in the Southern Baptist Church that is far less open or receptive to the idea of supernatural happenings and spiritual gifts.
I grew up as a Southern Baptist preacher’s kid, a Southern Baptist grandkid, and a Southern Baptist nephew. I then spent the first 8 years out of a Baptist university serving on staff as a worship leader and/or youth pastor at Southern Baptist churches across two states.
To say I was immersed in Southern Baptist church life is mildly putting. I was a product of that. I was Southern Baptist through and through.
My only problem…right after I graduated college, I married a charismatic girl who had spent the bulk of her church upbringing in the Assemblies of God.
OK…she’s my wife…so she’s not really a problem. But we certainly butted heads more than once over various views of the supernatural and spiritual gifts. She would argue in favor, and I would provide the typical cessationist arguments for why she was wrong.
Great way to start a marriage, huh?
Well, about a year in to the marriage, and about 4 or 5 months in to my first full time Youth Ministry job in a Southern Baptist Church out in the sticks of South Carolina in a small town called Bamberg, was when I began my journey into the supernatural.
Unbeknownst to me, my wife had been praying that God would bring to me a supernatural experience to open my eyes to the realities of things I had long rejecting.
And boy, did God answer that question.
It was a typical Sunday. I had just finished up with the Sunday School class I was teaching. People were in transition from Sunday school to Church, and I was in the sanctuary behind the piano preparing a special song I had written at the request of the worship leader (who, also happened to be the mayor of the town…I told you it was a small place).
As I was tickling the ivories and singing, a woman came in that had never darkened the doors of our church before. She came in and sat down right on the front pew, right in front of where I was at.
While I was playing and singing I looked out of the corner of my eye and watched her. She was acting a little strange. Swaying back and forth. And honestly, I thought she looked like she was going to do something crazy. But hey, it’s church. I wanted to think the best of visitors so I immediately wrote that idea out of my brain…
Until I came off stage.
She walked up to me briskly and introduced herself as Ruby. And then the awkward started. She immediately began to flirt with me and hit on me. I was taken aback. Did this woman not realize we were in the middle of a Church building? Did she even care?
As the moment got more awkward my wife suddenly came in and walked up and I quickly introduced her to Ruby as my wife. To which the woman replied, “Oh, this handsome thing is yours? You’re very lucky.”
That was my queue to leave.
I made a quick trip to the bathroom and came back in to the sanctuary as church was getting close to starting.
While I was gone, my wife told me Ruby began to tell her very strange things. She told my wife that she could see things and that she knew things about people that they thought they had kept secret from everyone else.
She said, “For example, I can look at people and I can instantly tell who is truly a Christian and who is not”, and then she proceeded to demonstrate that skill to my wife as people were walking in the room. She would say things like “That person isn’t a believer. That person is.”
Not gonna lie…some of the people she pointed out as non-believers I had kind of suspected for a while based on past interactions with them myself.
Anyway, church was starting and so I made my way to the stage to do my song.
My wife sat down on the front row of the center section of pews. Ruby took a seat next to my wife.
The worship began.
Ruby began to act a little strange, but nothing that stood out…yet.
After the music I sat down between Ruby and my wife and my pastor got up to introduce his sermon for the day with a prayer. While he prayed I could hear Ruby whispering to herself. Or, was she speaking with someone I could not see? Either way, it creeped me out. She was saying that she was hadn’t done anything to some woman she left unnamed, and that if it came up again she was going to kill her.
She began to sway and rock.
She picked up a bible and started to rub it in her hands.
After my pastor prayed he began to read the scripture for the day which if I recall correctly, was the passage of Jesus telling the Pharisees that their father was Satan and that Satan was a liar.
At that very moment Ruby stood up and began to scream at my pastor.
She said, “YOU ARE THE LIAR! I WILL SACRIFICE YOU RIGHT HERE IN FRONT OF THIS CHURCH AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME!”
My pastor was stunned. The only words he got out were, “Deacons, I need some help.”
Apparently the deacons were stunned too because they didn’t make a move.
I said a quick prayer and said, “God, whatever this is, give me a sign so I know.” I then opened the bible and it immediately fell on the story of the demoniac. I said, “God, I was afraid that was the answer.”
Since the deacons were refusing to move, and the youth on the front row were in tears at this point, I stood up and got in her face and said, “Ma’am, I’m going to need you to sit down and be quiet.”
Ruby looked me in the eyes and asked, “You too holy man?”
I responded, “I guess so.”
Something happened at that moment that is hard describe, but I can see it like it happened 5 minutes ago. When I said, “I guess so” her eyes became entirely engulfed in black and it was as if I was staring in to a deep empty well. And then she let out a blood curdling scream and took off running around the room.
She was hopping pews.
She was running.
She was screaming.
At one point Ruby stopped and began to cry out, “Lord Jesus help me! I can’t take this anymore!”
A little old lady in our church reached her hand out and said, “Sweet heart, let me help you.” Ruby took a couple of steps, hand outstretched, and then let out another blood curdling scream and took off running down the middle of the isle and right out the back door.
Some deacons who finally realized that something serious was going on took off after her and chased her down the middle of the street right through the middle of town while another person called the cops.
Ruby was arrested, and taken to the hospital in town.
I called the next day to find out what had happened to her. I was told that she was given sedation medication and that nothing was working and that she was going crazy. So crazy that they had to put her in a padded room so she wouldn’t hurt herself and call for the mental institution in Columbia to come get her.
We had a nurse in our church who kept saying the woman was suffering from schizophrenia. I knew this wasn’t right. I was sitting next to her. I heard everything that came out of her mouth. I looked into her eyes. I prayed for God to give me a sign and He opened the Bible to the demoniac story.
This…this wasn’t mental illness. This was demonic possession.
I immediately began to scour the internet for information on possession and found countless articles outlining the differences between schizophrenia and possession. Interestingly, one of those differences was that schizophrenia responds to sedation while possession will not.
I was at a loss for what to do. I asked my pastor if we could go over and do an exorcism. He politely refused and said she’s just having mental issues and that the doctors will take care of her.
It was that day that I realized I had experienced something I had never seen before and I experienced an awakening in me. I was changed and never looked back.
That day became known as Ruby Sunday, and I’m sure has lived in infamy in the minds of many of the youth group who were sitting with me that day and had a front row seat to the supernatural and demonic.
You see, I write all of this not only to chronicle and document the experience of that day back in 2006 (12 years ago), but also to provide evidence to my cessationist friends who insist that things of this nature just don’t happen anymore.
Had I known what was going on, and had I been equipped by my church to address such a situation, Ruby may have been able to be set free. And a part of me wonders if she ever experienced a release from that demonic stronghold. I hope so. I really hope so.
And another part of me regrets that I didn’t do more.
I recognized what was going on, but I felt helpless.
Churches, we need to take this sort of thing more serious. American Churches have become apathetic to the supernatural and the demonic and seem to think this sort of thing only happens in third world countries.
It doesn’t friends. It’s right here. It’s in our churches, our homes, our cities, our schools, our jobs…it’s all around us. We’ve just done a really good job of convincing ourselves that everything can be fixed with a pill or psychological counseling.
Some things require more.
If you’re seeing this article, and haven’t had a chance to read Part 1, I HIGHLY encourage you to start there as I lay this whole thing out in a fairly structured way. And much of what will be said in Part 2 gets its foundation from Part 1.
If you’ve already read Part 1, GREAT! Welcome back, and I hope you are ready for this next part, because there’s a LOT to cover.
In Part 1, I covered 2 major foundational areas that I feel have placed many men and women who have been called out for a ministry purpose on the path to destruction. The calling has become whittled down to 4 areas of ministry (pastor, student pastor, music pastor, and missionary), while the training falls in line behind what the Church has whittled down the calling to.
This means that we have men and women who are being trained up to function in a calling that they may not actually be equipped for or called to, but because our scope of ministry has become so small we don’t allow for the possibility that there may be more than these 4 to consider.
Which brings me into my next point…
When the calling is misunderstood or misinterpreted, the training then is aligned with a misunderstood or misinterpreted calling. In many cases, after some formal training, called ones will then (if not already) go through some sort of mentorship with an older more experienced minister, so they can learn from them what they believe they need to know about being in the field in this new calling.
Unfortunately, because the foundation of the calling and the training have already been focused on a very limited scope of ministry that may or may not align with where God is truly leading these young called out ones, the mentoring then continues to push these individuals toward something that God never intended them to be in.
Let me be clear, I absolutely value mentoring, and believe this is foundational for any believer in the faith and not just ministers. We all need mature believers who can speak into our lives, help guide us into a better understanding and application of our faith and be there to hold us accountable.
In other words, I believe this is necessary for us all.
So, when I say “mentoring” is an issue, I’m meaning that the mentoring is already off on the wrong foot because the foundations leading to this point were already off.
Think of it from a builder’s perspective…if the foundation is off, the rest of the building is going to be off. And if the building isn’t off (to the naked eye), then other issues will arise such as cracks in the foundation, a shifting foundation, and so on.
Therefore, I listed the calling and the training first because these are foundational in the life of a person who is being called. These are, in a way, the beginning moments of their journey into their calling.
Get this wrong, and the rest collapses around them.
To correct this, the mentor must do a better job of assessing the mentored and helping them discern what God is really calling them into in their life. It may very well be that the called out one has had a poor foundation laid, but that doesn’t mean the mentor has to build on that foundation. In fact, a good mentor will examine the foundation and help the one being mentored build a new foundation if they find the foundation is flawed.
Something to keep in mind is this…this may not mean completely rebuilding the foundation. It may just mean that the whole foundation is messed up, and that they will just need to do some foundational repairs before they can continue the building process.
But this is where a good mentor becomes so important. They get to help spot these issues and help correct them before they become even bigger issues down the road.
The mentor becomes a safety measure…a stop gap for error, if you will.
Now, there is another side to this coin.
There are many young called ones who go from calling, to training, and straight into the field without a mentor by their side. Perhaps this is because they have had a hard time finding one to mentor them, or perhaps they don’t know what a mentor is, or perhaps they feel it isn’t necessary to have a mentor.
Either way, there is a side of the coin where the mentor is totally absent from the picture.
At this point, I’m now talking to the ones being called…
YOU NEED TO GET A MENTOR!
WASTE NO TIME!
DO NOT PASS GO!
DO NOT COLLECT $200!
FIND A MENTOR AND FIND ONE NOW!
As my pastor and mentor once put it to me, even a pastor needs a pastor.
Translation…everyone needs someone who will be able to speak into their life and provide mentoring. No one is exempt from this. Yes…even you (yes, you!) young seminary grad…you are not exempt from this even if you now have several new letters at the end of your name and a degree hanging on the wall.
OK, it looks like this is going to have to be a possible 3 to 4-part article.
I’m trying not to overwhelm people all at once with what I’m bringing. So, lets take a pause, reflect on what’s already been stated in Part 1 and Part 2, and then prayerfully consider if you’re prepared to read Part 3.
Because in Part 3 I’m going to start breaking down the current western, modern, American Church Model, and the unspoken (and often unfair) expectations handed down from church members that is contributing heavily to pushing called ones into a destructive nature.